How can i sleep?

I never really wanted anything more than your love and affection. You gave me so much of it, that somewhere down the line, i forgot how much i wanted it. This is what makes you perfect, your selfless love for me, so flawless that it made me take you for granted, so pure a crystal that i missed seeing it, till when i shattered it.

Your flawlessness is partly the culprit, imperfections in people make them noticeable. Your love was so flawless, that i assumed its existence every moment, like that of my mother.

I cant make up for the lost opportunities of affection i could have used to express myself, for all the heartbreaks you had, for having loved a selfish like me so selflessly, for your love for me is the most beautiful thing i have ever experienced.

Your ability to love someone so profusely and so selflessly is no less than a mother’s love for a child. I am ashamed of having broken you, and deprived so many others worthy of your love, whom you would now look at with skepticism, given your experience with me.

The damage i have done is more than than the i pain and loneliness i feel in life at this moment, more than the pain you feel and the suffering you felt, it is also that of depriving someone else who deserves to be loved by you, from your love, because of how i have scarred you.

How can i sleep?