New Year’s Eve 2015

Found this in my notes — I wrote it while in Las Vegas, December 31st, 2015. It really inspired me to see this again and I wanted to post it here, too. You don’t need to wait for the new year to make changes in your life.

New year's eve is always a special time to me. I always write something and think back to everything that has changed, and each year I feel more distant from the person I was the year before. A lot of people are scared of changes... I won't say that I'm not, but changes have become part of my nature. I don't like to use the word "unsatisfied", because wherever I am, I find a way to be happy. But I'm always restless. When I get asked where do I see myself in 5 years, I make something up, because I have no idea, really. I could be still living in Brazil, I could be anywhere else really, I could be working my way to the top in a huge company, I could be a teacher, I could be a mom, I could be selling my art at the beach (Brazilian meme, sorry). The thing is, in any of these scenarios, I see myself with a smile on my face, because I don't allow myself to be sad for a long time. The world has so many things to see and do and I know that I can always be useful in so many more ways than I already know. I take each step at once and keep my feet on the ground, and I always have the courage to just go for it. If anything goes wrong, whatever - I build strong enough relationships that I know I'll always be able to count on my family and friends and come back to them. Just take a step back and start over. "There are better things ahead than any we leave behind".

That's the topic I wanted to get to. When I think about 2015, I could sum it up to this last month, full of amazing crazy experiences in San Diego. In only a month I made friends for life and lived and saw a thousand things, that I would not have believed if someone told me in January that I would do this. And those meaningful relationships that I built I now have to leave behind. I've been through this before, and I know most of these people I'll never see again in my life, as much as they meant to me. Some I'll see maybe two, three times, and that's it. I might keep a few for life, but I guess I can't know that now. That doesn't make it any less meaningful and important and doesn't make it less intense or make me value it less. Leaving things and people behind is an important part of this process of starting something new. In my heart, I have no regrets, only love and joy. Think what you want about me, say what you want - I'm happy with all of my choices. No one is ever taking that away from me. And as one of my favourite quotes says, by Oscar Wilde, "...that is one of the greatest secrets of life. Nowadays most people die of of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it's too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes". I am always thankful. Happy new year!