Humdrum Humming #2

This doesn’t come easy, or handy. This constant wondering about wondering about wondering. I’m sure it sounds like a lot of empty babble and I am pretty sure a lot of it could or would at any point of time amount to be just so, anytime any one wanted to take a look at it. The important thing to realise is though — it happened. Again.

Here’s where the whole idea of your head playing with you and allowing it to seems like a bad deal, with the hope that it will eventually turn into a good one. What am I talking about? Here we go. There was the usual conundrum on board the Delhi metro again — should I simply step into that Blue Line or just let it pass? Get a little treachorously late another day to take that public service bus when I can just comfortably take the auto. But public opinion definitely dictates your opinion of your choice of transport in these matters. Because even they are, well dictated by public opinion.

So auto-ready or not, there was just no peaceful way but to trust that “I’m almost there” instinct to wade your way through this whole whale of darknesses ready to pull you down at the onset of the day. Mental note made when I scraped by the doors as it shut — “Why?” Eyes shut, I know one thing is clear, that I will always get a seat easily without prying — its the players here who don’t end up with one. Sad but true, and makes me want to pass this word on, but if you sense the agony of not having a seat post Rajeev Chowk in the eyes of the 500 other fellow travellers, you’ll know your head should shut up and rejoice in this little sliver of hope for the day.

Okay, so what’s the point? I’m thinking some more time to go. Please time, go beyond your relative nature and speeden up for now. I want to go away. I need to go away and we don’t know whether I am going to make it or not. We are torn and we are distraught and none of this is anyone’s fault. Who we? Yes, the lovers separated by land, sea and all things geography. But united at once with all the fortitude that well of emotions at the pits of darknesses of a diverse range can conjure. No, no attempt to be poetic or inclination to exaggerate at all-this one. But merely fortitude. For what? Like I said, wading through another day. I shut my eyes, as the metro does its usual mood swing thing and can’t help but think about how the trains would be there.

We spoke about it. We laughed over how the Euro Rail would swindle us all across Europe and simply leave us wanting for more chugging. Then he talked about the Deutsche Bahn. In Berlin. He was excited, kept singing praises about how timely, precise and uniformed it was, and how it deeply underlined “very German.” I didn’t quite understand, but that’s the thing with me, I work best with senses. So I sensed and then I’d live it out, being onboard the train, or running to the station, hugging him and strangling him with my grip under the Christmassy station. I seemed to live it all out. The visuals and the impact it had on me.

After all that you’ve read, you can count on me for being visual, ecstatic, dramatic, but you have to count on me for being real. In the whole time that I lived this whole experience of being in Berlin and running to the station or coming back from there or hip hip hurraying and yayying about nothing but the holidays and wanting to play Santa myself upto Rajouri Garden metro station. Then the announcement about the next station shook me off my stupor. I day dreamed even more vividly this time and knew for a fact — there I was. I could see, we were holding hands, looking stupid and strolling around. I got down at Tilak Nagar just in time. You know what else happened? Just in time, I walked in to work and got a phone call — unusually early from a 4 hour time zone away.

We were walking on the streets of Berlin to catch the Deutsche Bahn for the bigger Deutsche Bahn station. Being stupid with our squibbles, jabber and fights. I made it to Berlin then. Just in time. Or so it seems.

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