Time Traveler “Post Apocalyptic Hellscape Less Disturbing Than Present Day America”
PHILADELPHIA — A man dressed in the garb of a post-apocalyptic future man thinks he was better off in the future after a successfully traveling through time to present day America. The time traveler, who named was withheld because we couldn’t think of one, stated that he returned in order to stop a catastrophe in the near future, but having lived in 2016 during the election has all but sapped him of his last shred of humanity
“Even though I come from a desolate wasteland where only the truly ruthless survive, we still know not to elect a orange fascist into power. Like, that’s common sense.” commented the man in a heavy dusty made from a material that was simultaneously durable but breathable. “Look, I’m not saying we’ve got it all figured out. We wage wars against one another for gas and drinkable water, but you elected a guy endorsed by the Klu Klux Klan.” The time traveler added. “That’s fucked up.”
“He has no Presidential experience” said the strange traveler, bio-optical implant gleaming in the near dark of the parking garage where we interviewed him, adding “ and he just appointed a white supremacist to a top cabinet position. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard and I’m from a place where we don’t have the color “green” anymore.”
As if press time, we’ve been unable to discern what catastrophe the time-traveler was here to avert, but he attends that it “couldn’t be worst for the world than this.”
Benel Germosen is the cohost of Fresh Fifteen at the Experiment Comedy Gallery. He performs comedy all over town in New York City. You can find him on Twitterhere.