‘Neighbours’ Review — Cracking drama Down Under (w/c 8th May 2017)

After days caught up in their own dramas, the people of Erinsborough finally remembered that poor David Tanaka and Piper Willis were still lying in hospital, innocent victims of the backpacker hostel hit and run. So what became of the pair after last week’s cliffhanger? Things weren’t looking good for David, Erinsborough’s only other doctor next to the legendary Dr Kennedy, with the news that he might have permanent brain damage, but in a couple of scenes it was revealed that, he doesn’t. As for Piper, she seemed okay for someone with a smashed pelvis, so she should be walking by the end of next week, this is Erinsborough after all where paralysis is not a word in the dictionary. That was quite the build-up eh.

Copyright Channel 5. What brain injury? Take three aspirin and you’ll be fine.

The mystery as to who was behind the wheel that caused the disaster didn’t disappoint though. After quickly eliminating a number of suspicious Ramsay Street locals, by the middle of the week we were left with a most unlikely and quite shocking suspect. Could respectable Mayor Sonya Rebecchi be the culprit? It certainly looked that way after Steph Scully identified unclaimed shoes from the scene of the crime as belonging to Sonya. Plus having recently fallen off the wagon after years of sobriety, Sonya has no memory of where she was that fateful morning. However, normally by the book cop Mark Brennan decided to cover for the woman who he recently confessed his love for. A real change in attitude for the man who is normally chomping at the bit to arrest his neighbours on the flimsiest of evidence. Look at how quick he was to arrest his bride-to-be Paige Smith at the altar on their wedding day.

Copyright Channel 5. Instead of handcuffs, Mark’s handing out necklace’s to his suspects.

Talking of Paige, her trend for at least one pregnancy scare a week continued as she was told that her baby is in breech position and she may need to have a caesarean. You’d think with the baby’s father being a Catholic priest, he or she would have some special protection from the big man upstairs, but he’s clearly looking the other way. I’m assured by my own pregnant friend whose own unborn baby is in breech that there is no need for the level of dramatics that Paige displayed. So this can only mean one thing, the Neighbours gods are foreshadowing a big birth drama, probably with Paige stuck in the middle of nowhere forced to give birth with nothing but a eucalyptus leaf to bite on and a koala as midwife. Is Paige going to die?

Copyright Channel 5. Another day, another visit to the doctors for Paige and her unborn priest baby.

Amidst all the drama of the week huge belly laughs were provided by Gary Canning and Brooke Butler as they continued with their plan to kidnap Brooke’s daughter Jesse, a character who we have never seen on-screen nor do we really care about. And here’s an idea, if Brooke doesn’t have her daughter’s mobile number to contact her, surely she knows her daughter’s name to find her on something like Facebook? But hey, that would be too easy and we would have been deprived of the sight of Gary massaging a guy’s bare bum in a bid to tease information out of him about the whereabouts of Brooke’s daughter. The closest we’ll ever get to Neighbours doing a story with a character on crack.

Copyright Channel 5. Ending the week on a bum-note, Gary poses as masseur.

‘Neighbours’ airs weekdays at 1.45pm and 5.30pm on Channel 5.