5 Lessons for Millennials from the Movie Crazy Rich Asians
Rachel Chu: These people aren’t just rich, they’re crazy rich.
Spoiler Alert* If you haven’t yet watched the movie or read the book, continuing to read this article may spoil it for you.
As the highest-grossing comedy over the last 10 years at $245 million in October 2018, Crazy Rich Asians, based on the 2013 novel by Kevin Kwan follows an American professor who travels to meet her boyfriend’s family and is surprised to discover they are among the richest in Singapore.
While the romantic comedy portrays crazy displays of materialistic wealth through clothing items, jewellery and private mansions, the movie is actually littered with deep lessons that millennials and Gen Z can glean from on their journey towards living a truly rich life.
Here are 5 lessons that the movie Crazy Rich Asians can teach millennials and Gen Z on how to truly lead a rich life.
A truly rich life happens when you follow your dreams, not other’s dreams for your life.
Just because Nick was born in a wealthy family, there was so much pressure for him to step into that role, to step into royalty, to take his father’s place as chairman of the company.
His mother Eleanor Young had done her best to position Nick in good relationships with his grandma Su Yi to make him the ‘ideal candidate’ for his grandmother’s inheritance.
Nick however had other plans involving him proposing to Rachel and moving back to New York to begin the next stage of their lives.
To live a truly rich life, you have to be willing to live your life based on your heart’s desires, not trying to meet expectations of others.
One obstacle that usually prevents millennials from full-heartedly pursuing their purpose is the expectations of their surrounding peers and loved ones.
There will be voices either in their head or from friends, such as “What if it doesn’t work? What if you fail? Isn’t your job more secure?…”
All these serve to form a web of voices, of invisible demons that shrink our life instead of expanding it greater.
So, whose shadow might you be living under?
And whose life are you really living?
Are you settling because you are trying to meet the expectations of those loved ones around you? Or are you truly pursuing what turns you alive, what makes your heart pump?
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like. — Dave Ramsey
While our loved ones may have the best of intentions, either to protect us from failure or to keep us close, ultimately, they are not us.
They cannot truly know what you want out of life.
Because of that, it is important for you to define success for yourself.
I didn’t know who I was or what was important to me. I had no clue what I wanted my life to look like, what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, who I wanted to be. And because I didn’t know, I took on someone else’s vision of success, leading me to absolute destruction. — Dani Johnson [1]
Sometimes we need to march to the sound of our own drum, otherwise we run the risk of living under someone else’s drum beat, living under someone else’s shadow.
So ask yourself, what does a successful life look like to you? What does living a successful, meaningful life look like for you? After all, if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’re never going to find it.
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. — Henry David Thoreau
A truly rich life sometimes means having the courage to confront your fears and overcome them.
For Nick, it was finally getting the courage to announce to his family that he was in a serious relationship.
For Rachel, it was coming to terms about her boyfriend’s true societal and financial status, and his family.
For Eleanor, it was meeting the woman that her son was about to propose to.
While each of these characters in the movie dealt with their fears differently, they all had to face their fears. We all have such feelings of fear in life, and the key to progressing in life is our ability to face our fears and do what we fear anyway!
Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you. Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it? — Caroline Myss
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. — Marianne Williamson
As creatures of habit, we all deal with feelings of fear, uncertainty, and vulnerability. And unfortunately, most of us let those feelings dictate our actions. For this reason, the simple decision to act is often enough to separate you from most people. [2]
Whatever you are most scared of doing is probably what you should most be doing. The great treasure we so desire, often lies just beyond our deepest fears.
Take some time to reflect on your life over these few questions:
What do you fear most in your life right now?
What question have you been avoiding answering in your life?
What will you do to confront that fear or answer that question?
A truly rich life comes from a truly rich heart.
“There were many days where I wondered if I would ever measure up. But having been through it all, I know this much. You will never be enough.” — Eleanor Young
In our pursuit towards success and a rich life, rejection is bound to happen.
Rejection from others, rejection from peers, rejection by people who may not have been able to see your vision initially. And closely tied to rejection is a question of our identity.
Another fear surfaces around the fear of being rejected, the fear of being judged, and above all the fear of being found out as an imposter.
Everyone who is doing important work is working on something that might not work. And it’s extremely likely that they’re also not the very best qualified person on the planet to be doing that work.
But, isn’t doing your best all you can do? Dropping the narrative of the impostor isn’t arrogant, it’s merely a useful way to get your work done without giving into Resistance.
Time spent fretting about our status as impostors is time away from dancing with our fear, from leading and from doing work that matters. [3]
For millennials to achieve a rich life, they must be able to grapple with identity issues and decide that their rich life and what they were born to do matters.
So here are some questions to ask yourself in order to grow closer to cultivating a rich heart,
Where does your identity come from?
How would you define your identity?
Where is your security derived from?
Who decided your worth?
And why did you let them decide your worth?
A rich life is the result of a rich heart, and one that is fully accepting and secure about your identity and your gift you were meant to offer to this world.
Success is not to be pursued, it is to be attracted by the person you become.
— Jim Rohn
A rich life is a life filled with unconditional love.
“If Nick chose me, he would lose his family. And if he chose his family, he might spend the rest of his life resenting you.” — Rachel Chu
After hearing of Nick’s decision to propose to Rachel, Eleanor freaked out and did everything she could to discourage their relationship from going further. From her heart, she felt she was doing the right thing as she didn’t feel that Rachel was the right person for Nick.
However, the truth is sometimes what we feel is best for those we love may not be perceived by them in the same way. To truly live a rich life, we must be able to love those we love unconditionally, with no strings attached. While we may not fully agree with the decision they make, they will always appreciate the fact that we stood there by their side supporting them.
You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free. — Thich Nhat Hanh
From another perspective, another lesson can also be learnt from Nick’s mum, Eleanor Young and his grandmother Su Yi. Because of their deep concern for Nick and fear that he would be making the wrong decision in proposing to Rachel, Su Yi threatened to disown Nick if he continued his relationship further with Rachel.
The question for Su Yi, is whether it would be worth it in completely cutting off their son or grandson from their lives just because of one decision he is about to make?
And if they were so angry about such a decision, how would that affect their future relationship with Nick and his soon-to-be partner Rachel?
Is it worth making such a vow and cutting themselves off from years of all the happiness and joy that they could have embraced through shared experiences with Nick and Rachel and their future children?
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. — Proverbs 14:29
It is impossible to control how others act, respond or feel of the people around us. The only thing we can decide on is how we respond to what happens to us in life. When we limit our happiness to the performance or complete obedience of those around us, we are inevitably setting ourselves up for failure, because sooner or later, they are bound to make a mistake and disappoint us.
This is an important life lesson from the movie Crazy Rich Asians for millennials, to learn to accept what they cannot change and simply let go.
A truly rich life is a fight worth fighting for.
The problem with our marriage isn’t about the money, it’s that you gave up on us. — Astrid Teo
When Astrid Teo found out that her husband Michael was cheating on her, she confronted him, and he had an argument with her stating that it was all because of her social status and her family’s pressures that made him feel that he couldn’t continue in their marriage.
While there can be family pressures, challenging conditions and unfavourable circumstances which can occur in our lives, all these challenges arise only to test our resolve and commitment towards our vision, our destination.
Michael could have shared his feelings and struggles with his wife, he could have communicated with her, he could have chosen to respond in a different way. All of which, might have compounded towards a different outcome.
In life, what’s worth keeping is worth fighting for. And to stay in the fight, you must know what you’re fighting for. Otherwise, your resolve will not be strong enough to overcome the challenges and trials life will throw at you.
You can have results or excuses, but not both. — Arnold Schwarzenegger
So let your why compel you towards discovering and creating a truly rich life for yourself. Make results happen, when you let go of excuses.
Take some time to think about the vision for your life. What does a truly rich life, lived on your terms look like to you? What would you do? Who would you become? Who would you spend your time with?
Create a vision and never let the environment, other people’s beliefs, or the limits of what has been done in the past shape your decisions. — Tony Robbins
[1]- http://www.danijohnson.com/2016/what-is-your-definition-of-success/
[2]- https://jamesclear.com/overcoming-fear
[3]- https://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2017/10/imposter-syndrome.html/?ref=creativemornings.com
