Regarding the push for a national anti-bullying, anti-violence program in schools with an LGBTI focus

[Update: Please see an apology from me here]

Ben Grubb here. Separate from my day job and as a personal (unpaid) project, I have been helping with the public relations and organising of a push for a nationally rolled out anti-bullying, anti-violence program with a focus on LGBTI (change.org/stopbullyingaustralia)

I just want to take a moment of your time to explain the letter and petition a little further so as to help you understand why the approach taken was the one that was progressed.

I speak on behalf of myself and not the other signatories who were involved (this is in order to get a statement out there as soon as possible in response to some of the criticisms received from those in the LGBTI community who believe that what is being proposed and advocated for is a “step backwards” or a “mistake”).

The first important point I wish to make is that the signatories to the letter do not speak on behalf of all LGBTI people or their allies. Any suggestion otherwise would be incorrect. While many of the signatories are members of the LGBTI community, others are allies and friends with people who are in the LGBTI community.

Further, I completely respect, whenever a letter is written, that not everyone is going to agree with its approach and that some will be unhappy about not being consulted.

In relation to the letter and its wording, it is my personal belief that tolerance is the first step to acceptance. We all, of course, want acceptance and approval (I would hope) of LGBTI people.

Troye Sivan’s mother Laurelle Mellet started a “Save Safe Schools campaign” last year (https://www.change.org/p/education-minister-simon-birmingham-my-son-is-gay-help-me-save-safe-schools-funding) because she would have liked to have seen acceptance, respect, approval and tolerance of her openly gay son Troye while he was in school.

But ultimately, that petition failed in securing Safe Schools funding from the federal government. The program runs out of funding in June.

This time around, it was agreed to try something different that would de-politicise a program that was made controversial by politicians and certain segments of the media airing those politicians’ and activists’ views.

That something different was a compromise, but would see at least some sort of program of use that is rolled out nationally in schools that is consistent — not just at state or private schools but at religious ones too, where LGBTI people exist as well, despite some peoples’ beliefs that they do not.

After a confidential discussion with a key decision maker in Canberra about what the government would and would not fund, I set out to help in the lead up the budget, where the government decides what to fund and what not to.

No one likes to compromise, I know, but the fact is that LGBTI kids are committing suicide because they are being bullied by their peers.

As was noted in today’s letter, gay people are 14 times more likely to commit suicide. (Edit: A separate study of transgender people conducted by the National Centre for Transgender Equality found that of the 17,715 people surveyed, 40 per cent had attempted suicide).

These are dreadful statistics.

Part of the reason for the language in the letter is due to some groups — such as certain powerful politicians, religious groups, and religious schools — refusing to accept and approve of LGBTI people because of their belief systems.

After the confidential consultation with the Canberra decision maker on what the government would potentially fund, the approach undertaken was agreed upon by a select few signatories. The agreed upon letter was then sent to other co-signers for their signatures.

I really hope that we get acceptance and approval of LGBTI people in Australia. I mean that. That is the end goal we all should aspire to, I hope. But given the current political climate and discussions had with decision-makers, it does not look like we will get that — at least not right now.

Perhaps it will occur (and I hope it will) when same-sex marriage is passed in this country and exemptions for religious organisations are removed from the Anti-Discrimination Act, which allows for religious organisations like Christian and Catholic schools to fire teachers who are gay or have children out of marriage.

The letter sought a framework for something that hopefully everyone can agree upon — or come close to agreeing upon. It also lays out the ability to be altered by its advisory board after consultation with community groups once society does change and accept and approve of LGBTI people — more than it does now.

I want to thank you for all your feedback and comments. As Laurelle has said in a change.org update, it is certainly being taken onboard.

There is always going to be a way to be more inclusive, accepting and approving of members of our society. And many argue that there can be no compromise on equality.

But will we get anywhere if we don’t compromise or will that just delay us even further from achieving the end goal of true equality?

Lastly, one article today said that, in the letter, the group “shunned gender theory, equality”.

It did not shun these but it did omit those terms (not on purpose, mind you). While I do not speak on behalf of the other co-signers, I do not believe that any of them would shun these either.

Respect and tolerance of LGBTI people — and others in society — is what kids in schools should be taught now. And I really do hope we can move to teaching them approval and acceptance sooner rather than later.

I went to a Christian school where the only person I could turn to was a school Chaplin. Imagine if we had some sort of program rolled out nationally that could’ve helped me. Maybe I would have come out earlier and maybe I would’ve felt less repressed earlier on in life.

Until acceptance and approval come we either have no program taught nationally in schools that helps LGBTI youth — and others who are vulnerable, as the letter also seeks to help — or something of a compromise.

Or a generic anti-bullying program.

Tolerance is defined as “the ability or willingness to tolerate the existence of opinions or behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with”. Respect is defined as “due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others”.

As Lady Gaga once said, LGBTI people are “Born This Way”. Their “behaviour” is not a choice. It *should* be accepted, approved, tolerated and respected.

If anything, I hope the letter I helped organise and distribute today helps reset or restart the conversation that we need to be having concerning vulnerable LGBTI people in schools.

If politicians are willing to include acceptance and approval of LGBTI people in anti-bullying and anti-violence teachings, then I am all for it and I’m sure many of the other people involved would be too.

But for now, as I understand it, many key decision makers are not willing to back that.

Hence the wording of the letter.

Ben Grubb