I had a shitty week.
A lot of my good friends are leaving the office. I had to say a lot of goodbyes to so many good people.
Work had been hell because a lot of people are leaving and new hires are just not coming with similar pace. Projects come at blistering pace and my boss is, if I’m being polite, not so helpful.
And then I got the call. I knew something was wrong right away.
My grandma was going into operation. My sister told me the details, something about her bowel. The details just went past me, but somehow I could already tell.
A few hours later, I got another call. I knew it.
“Grandma just passed away.”
My grandma would’ve been, I think, 93 years old next month this year. She’s been blessed with big family and relatively good health throughout her life (she’s never had major health issues), and I’m sure she can rest in peace now, knowing that she probably had had it all.
Along with my mother, she’s the most important woman in my life. For all I know, she’s been in my life from the moment I was born. My family lived with her, so basically she’s been in my entire life.
She’s strict but very loving. When I was a kid, sometimes I didn’t like her much because she’s quite strict and often scolded me and my brothers and sisters. But growing up, slowly but surely I began to acknowledge and appreciate her strictness. I am who I am now (and I’m pretty sure I turn out to be just fine!), mostly thanks to her.
When I moved to Jakarta, I always called her regularly, maybe twice a month. We talked about usual stuff, I asked her how she’s been, she asked me how I was doing, she gave me the usual elderly advices. As monotonous as they were, I always enjoyed the calls. Now I can only wish I’d called her every day.
Funny thing is, now I can’t really think of the one most memorable moment of me and her. Probably because she’s been in my whole life, there is no one moment. It’s every moment.
My grandma just passed away, but she lives on in me. And I don’t know why or how, but if my life has not been as great as it’s supposed to be, I have a good feeling things will be looking brighter from now on. Probably because I know she’ll be watching and guiding me from above.
Thank you for everything and rest in peace, Grandma.