In Consideration of a Sister on her Birthday

Ben Haymond
Jul 10, 2017 · 3 min read

I have a sister. Actually, I have seven sisters of whom six are still living. When people ask me about family, my answer is usually: “it’s complicated.” Of those seven, two are from my mother’s first marriage and five are from my father’s first marriage. So essentially, I have seven half-sisters.

My mother’s two daughters were the sisters I grew up with. They are nearest to my age being 11 years and nine years older than me. I would say I am closest to them. The youngest of the two M has her birthday today. She was born 4Q years ago and I want to dedicate this post to her.

M and I go back since the beginning. When my mother was pregnant for me, she threatened my unborn body with bodily harm. When I came home, she changed her mind and threatened anyone who could possibly harm me with bodily harm. She became my guardian angel for many years.

When I started private school in 1992, she moved to the town where it was located. In that town, she lived with my grandmother and then in about ten other apartments. In one of my most challenging periods, she was there with me. At private school, I carried the burden of the world on my shoulders and she, in a Christ-like gesture, helped lift the yoke and relieve that burden. For example, the first time I visited a college party at the age of 15 and the police raided the premises; she hid me in the basement and proceeded to direct me from a different room.

At one of the points in which I was feeling very down, she threatened the entire school football team with words akin to “I will go to jail if anything happens to him.” At some point, I started spending more time at her flat. We would take my mother’s credit card of which I was responsible (and not her) and buy feasts at the Chinese restaurant. M also had a great fashion sense. She used to see that my wardrobe had stylish clothes in it. It was by no means avant-garde, but I looked respectable. When I met my wife, my sister was also one of the first to welcome her into the family.

But it was not just one-sided, when people were unnecessarily critical of her, I cut off contact. Another time, she hosted a party but did not tell me about some guests. So when the door rang and I did not know them, I refused them entry. I would never have allowed someone to create havoc in her home. And when she helped clean out a house for me a few years ago and took a few things, she never needed to ask. I would have given her anything and everything in it.

There was a ten-year period, where I could always call on her. As I became an adult, she was there with me. She was by no means a motherly figure for she did not weld that kind of authority. Rather, she taught me how to live and enjoy myself a little. She taught me to be a little less serious.

In the dark, stormy seas of life, sailors cherish lighthouses. At a certain time and in a certain place, M was that lighthouse. She guided me away from the rocky shoreline and helped me sail into the future. For that, I am eternally grateful! Happy 4Qth Birthday M!

Ben Haymond

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Expat, Lecturer, Storyteller, Writer and Communications Consultant