Trump Dump: Political Political Correctness

I agree that there is an area where political correctness needs to be eliminated in our society. Not a wide area, but a very important one: I think politicians are too politically correct to each other when one of them crosses the circle in the sand where the dumbest people in the universe are all packed into like Jimmy Dean sausages because they were too stupid to understand the concept of “drawing a line in the sand”.

We need to eliminate political political correctness.

For example, when a candidate says something that is completely cricket bat-shit-ass crazy like they are going to build a wall across the Mexican border, the proper response from behind their opponents’ podiums shouldn’t be some made-for-tv quasi-Disney movie blather. The idea that Trump is going to build this wall is profoundly stupid. It will never happen. NEV-ER. First of all, there are such things as “boats”, and the body of water at which this horrifically stupid edifice would terminate is literally called “The Gulf of Mexico”. Not even the dumbest of Americans is going to overlook the inherent design flaw. Second, if employers in Bakersfield have to clandestinely hire illegal immigrants to pick fruit because Americans are too lazy and entitled to stand out in the hot California sun and do it at an hourly rate that will allow the rest of us to buy fruit for less than $10 an apple, the government will have to clandestinely hire the entire Central American population illegally to work heavy construction in the middle of the Sonoran Desert.

Mark my words: Americans will neither figuratively nor literally build that wall. Executing the plan will make the government the largest employer of illegal immigrants in the universe, and the wormhole created by the government systematically paying off fines it is slapping on itself will suck the country into another dimension so fast it will make paying $10 for an apple seem like a fucking rainbow Candyland birthday present from the Care Bears.

Therefore, when someone steps onto the national political stage and says it, saying “Donald, you’re just not being realistic” isn’t the remedy. We should expect them to get the same treatment Roberto Duran gave Sugar Ray Leonard before, during and after their first fight: question the size of their manhood, promise to fuck their wife and declare that the reason their children are wimpy is because of their father’s lack of virility. (Duran said all of that on live TV, and moreover, I have say the last one was pretty damned creative. I’ve heard a lot of insults, but “your sperm makes sickly children” was a new one to me.) That, incidentally, is why I had no problem with one of them suggesting Trump’s dick was small. That’s as close as any politician has gotten to the appropriate extension of political political correctness.

My reasoning behind this is not drawn from the same cynical well of chest-thumping redneck ignorance the wall-lovers drink from. I don’t want a lowering of discourse because I want to sit in front of my TV screem with some popcorn and 3D glasses watching political Celebrity Boxing. The need for it lies deep within the nature of Americans.

To Americans, the more crazy something sounds, the less of an impact it has on our frontal cortexes because we are far accustomed to it. It’s not our fault per se, just the nature of our culture. We are fed TV shows like Pawn Stars that imply this famous store filled with cameras and minor celebrities is magically at low tide on a Saturday morning, Rick is always waiting patiently behind the counter to greet a customer at a perfect camera angle, this individual wishes to sell the Hope Diamond thinking it’s a piece of his dead grandmother’s shitty fake jewelry that might be worth $20 bucks because she was old so it’s probably worth more than nothing, and all of this has serendipitously manifested without a lick of staging or editing. Seriously, Chumlee is the only one who ever hits his nuts on anything in that store?

But we believe it. Or don’t. Or whatever. It’s so ridiculous we don’t care to even bother considering its factualness because we want to be entertained, and as a result, what’s true and what’s not true are allowed to mingle freely in the pleasure center of our brain. We have been socially programmed to derive pleasure from suspending belief about the ludicrous. That’s why a kid lying to us is a matter of common sense crime scene investigation, but Trump’s wall bullshit hops over the logic wall of our Brainland Security and dives right into the oil wrestling pool of voyeuristic social eroticism with Big Hoss and the Old Man.

Therefore, when we need that TV turned off and some homework done, it requires a fucking goddamned verbal hammer in proportion to the quality of insane pornography we just witnessed to jolt us back to reality. Simply pointing out a lie won’t do. In the history of this entire wall nonsense, there was only one man who has ever been enough of a leader and stone-haver to shove aside political political correctness and say what needed to be said in the way it needed to be said. And you know who that was? Of all people, ironically, it was the leader of the country Trump is impuning. When asked on live television what he thought about Trump saying Mexico would pay for the wall, Former Mexican President Vicente Fox took a deep breath, sat up in his chair, drew his amazing moustache to full fluffiness, and said:

“I’m not going to pay for that fffffffffffffffff…ucking wall!”

He even did the slow motion finger fuck in the face of the interviewer. Now if someone on the debate stage would have had a nutsack and dick the size and consistency of a Seguaro cactus like Vicente Fox does, a lot of this shit would have been nipped in the bud a long time ago, and this presidential race might not have degraded into the pitiful torpor in which it exists today. Also, it’s entirely possible Trump would have been called to the waist-high table on his dick-size comments, and then we all could have seen exactly what was in those tax return briefs he’s making such large claims about.