Trump Dump: Trump, the Defense Foreign Policy Speech pt. 1—The US is About to Die

I powered through the Donald’s foreign policy speech from September 7th posted on his website, and it is by far and away the most unique foreign policy platform I have ever heard. The whole thing is addled because his individual ideas don’t make any sense, and incoherent because he either directly contradicts himself or is just crazy.

The most pervasive thread in Trump’s foreign policy speech is that our military is currently unable to defend the United States. Not abroad, the actual United States of America. Apparently, without a strong military the literal sovereignty of our country is in grave danger.

He parades around a collection of facts like “our navy hasn’t been this small since 1916” and shit like that, even though Mitt Romney was horribly patronized and embarrassed when Obama pointed out in the 2012 presidential town hall that we have these things called “aircraft carriers”. But he goes on: all branches smaller than they have been in a few decades, worse, the defense budget is being slashed, and perhaps worst of all our weapons are antiquated. The solutions are obvious. To him. As is every thought he’s ever had about everything.

He wants to beef up our military to create a standing army of over 540,000 troops, and bitches that only 1/3 of our current 490,000 troops are combat ready. This and all other branches will be dramatically increased in number. For a proponent of the 2nd Amendment, which was specifically designed to allow the armed militia to balance out a small standing army considered dangerous to a free state, this is very strange, but whatever; he’s made bank on strange so I can’t really fault him as a politician.

His theory is that such a huge military will terrify everyone else on the planet and nobody will dare attack us. This is the Don’s definition of friendship. He claims he will establish peace and make a zillion new friends in the world…and do so by scaring the living shit out of them.

And who are these incredible new threats to our national sovereignty? He names a few. They are Iran, ISIS, North Korea and for some reason China, which for a country he claims is currently making a shit-ton of money off of us, is a little weird.

Discounting the absurd notion that China is drawing up invasion plans and maps for impending nuclear strikes it intends to implement in the near future, what threat do the other three pose that our current military seems woefully unequipped to handle should they land on the shores of South Carolina—a state they can have as far as I’m concerned as I would personally love an excuse to fire bomb it? For some reason he glosses over that part. But he does gleefully moves along to the potatoes to his military meat.

He proposes that we need a missile defense shield to defend us against the nuclear threats a few countries pose, and by that he means Iran (does not have nukes or ICBMs to deploy them, and if they ever did the rest of the world would reduce them to a lovely stained glass window through which to view the Earth’s core), ISIS (the only intercontinental nuke they could ever deploy certainly isn’t coming in on a missile, if Muslims can even get on a plane in the first place), and North Korea (If they launch a nuclear weapon at anyone, A) it won’t be able to reach us, and B) China and Russia will excise that unstable little tumor from the face of the globe, and South Korea won’t need lightbulbs for a few billion years because the sheer volume of hydrogen fusion thermonuclear weapons detonating simultaneously on North Korea will create a gravity well powerful enough for the formation of a small star known as the Kim Il Sun).

This little outline is just scratching the surface of his idiocy, and there are many, many more aspects and absurd non-sequitors to be gone over.