I want change. And it will happen anyway.

So here I am. Writing my first blog post on Medium.

I’m currently in a phase of transition in my life. My girlfriend and I moved together by the end of last year. I founded a documentary production company with a colleague in the beginning of this year. And I just closed down another little media production company that I run with another colleague due to the loss of a major contractor. The feeling, that I have to change something in my professional life is undeniably constantly present.

But most importantly: I’m going to be a dad in a few weeks.

That is definitely going to change my life. It is already an awesome experience that is not always easy but one that I definitely don’t want to miss. It’s something that I wished for my whole adult life.

So, why starting to write a blog now? Is this a new distraction or can it actually achieve something? I decided to do it to somehow document this phase in my life. To put my thoughts in order by journaling on an irregular basis.

There are new paths coming up in the near future that I might go. At least that’s how I see it. However, theoretically, everything — at least job-wise — could also go on in the known paths. And that’s somehow a frustrating thought compared to thinking in possibilities and opportunities.

I want change.

In the last years it has become more and more obvious to me that documentary filmmaking alone is not providing for a financially stable lifestyle. Competition is huge, budgets are being cut and the viewing habits of the audience changed in a way that led to fewer possibilities of publication and a tough fight for the viewers’ attention. Not the best preconditions to support a family with this job. On the other hand: I still love the storytelling and creating images that touch people.

Almost in the same period of time of realizing the hardships of being a documentarian, being outside in nature had become more and more important to me. I see it as a beautiful counterpart to being in front of screens and working with high-end technical equipment in the rather stressful media sector. I even started a wilderness pedagogics course.

Last, but not least: Becoming a father makes me thinking about my role in our baby’s life, and eventually about my role as a man.

Those are the topics that are on my mind the most right now.

And those are also the topics that I intent to write about: filmmaking and storytelling, proximity to nature and my experiences being a dad and entering a new phase of being a man.

I would like to document my way through those changes, reflecting on decisions and opportunities and maybe even get inspired through your comments. I definitely appreciate them! Thanks for reading!

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