The Reflection of Light
The other day my daughter asked, “Dad, do you ever wonder if every person sees different colors?” I said, “What do you mean?” She said, “You know, I see a yellow flower. You see a yellow flower. But the flowers are actually different colors to each of us?” I said, “Oh. I understand what you mean. Well, unless you’re color-blind I think we all see the same colors. What are colors anyway but a result of reflected light at different wavelengths? The mechanics of the eye work the same in all humans. Light doesn’t reflect differently for each of us so I’m sure we are seeing the same colors. Light is light.”
My daughter seemed fine with the explanation. I don’t think either of us thought about it further. That is until the events of this past week. My daughter came back to me and referencing the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, she said, “Dad, you were wrong. We all don’t see color the same.”
I am disheartened (an understatement) by the deaths of these men (and the officers in Dallas) and the circumstances under which they died. It is simply a reminder that if you are black (or brown), the world is simply different for you. And this is something that is hardly understood by those whose skin reflects differently in the light. Yes, deaths in this manner are rare, but far too frequent all the same. And it’s even more disheartening to me that some folks want to find justification for these shootings.
As heart-wrenching as these tragedies are, they cast a shadow on something we should not lose sight of. We can get lost in the sensationalism of these events. What’s lost is the small, easily overlooked, indignities black people face in this world every day. Mr. Castile was no exception. He was pulled over 52 times in 14 years for minor infractions. It was routine. But I imagine those stops weren’t 100% about the infraction. Although the officer who put four bullets into Mr. Castille said the stop was for a broken tail light, a recording of the stop tells us Mr. Castille was stopped because of his “wide-set nose”.
Does any of the following sound at all familiar to you? Have you ever been pulled over, asked to step out of a car, and frisked for “slow-rolling”? Have you ever been cuffed and searched for looking in the window of a used car for sale? Have you ever been stopped, cuffed, made to sit on a curb of a busy highway, while you were on your way to work in your Brooks Brothers suit because you “matched a profile”? Have you ever been searched illegally? Have you been arrested for an unpaid parking ticket, while you had your 1-year old daughter in the back seat? Have you ever been accused of being a drug dealer, arm twisted to near dislocation even though you were not resisting, cuffed while you were on your knees because you happen to walking by a “high traffic corner” on your way to the store to get milk for your mother? Have you ever been approached by a “peace officer” with his gun drawn while driving with your senior citizen father? Have ever been questioned or detained because you were wearing a hooded sweatshirt… in the winter? Have you ever been stopped, because you yielded to a police vehicle with flashing lights, but because the officer didn’t realize his lights were on found your behavior suspicious? Do you get “nervous” every time you see a “peace officer”?
If you read the above and cannot at all relate to any of it, then it’s likely your skin reflects differently in the light. It is likely you can live your life in a carefree way. Or at least a life not burdened by daily challenges to your basic humanity. You can fail and succeed on your own merit. And believe confidently through hard work, you will achieve your dreams. You will likely never feel the uneasiness of wondering if someone is smiling in your face but calling you the “N-word” behind your back. You will likely never have a negative interaction with a person of the law, or be pulled over because of your “wide-set nose”. You will never think to have to tell your children “comply, comply, comply” because the idea of losing them to a cop’s bullet is beyond comprehension.
I did not pluck the above scenarios out of thin air. I lived each and every one of those experiences and probably forgot a few. I’m not some criminal or derelict. I am a business owner. I am a father. I am a community servant. I am a college graduate. I am a friend to many and enemy to none. I am a lover of all people and a hater of none. I love my children. I love my country. I believe in a higher being. And I respect the law. Yet mine is a typical experience if you are a black man in this country.
So before you rail on ignorantly about the #BlackLivesMatter movement, seek first to understand. Black Lives Matter is not anti. It is pro. Pro-dignity, pro-equality, pro-reform. #BLM is about pointing out we are just as deserving of the life you take for granted. If #BLM is anti anything, it is anti-bigot, anti-misogynist and anti-stupidity. It is not exclusive, it is inclusive. Implicit in the #BLM call is not that all lives don’t matter, but, rather our lives, black lives, matter too!
I hearken back to that conversation with my daughter. I often try to answer her questions with actual facts — science. The topic of race is no different. When I speak about race with my daughter(s) in the context of science, I explain how ironic it is that there is no such thing as race. The different colors of our skin are simply a result of geography and climate and the randomness of who are parents are and who their parents were. The different levels of melanin in our skin, and how the light reflects off of it, does not make any one of us less human than the other. It’s just how the light reflects. As factual as my explanation may be, I’m sad that my daughters have to be reminded that the world doesn’t see it that way. That we all don’t see color the same and they will be treated less than because of the color of their skin. I am sad that we all don’t see yellow flowers.
Do not confuse my intent in writing this. It is not to point blame. It is not to spew hate. And it is absolutely not to paint all law enforcement with the broad brush of bigotry. Doing so would be mentally impotent and as ridiculous as saying all black people look alike. I wrote this to help bridge this river of misunderstanding. I wrote this to be honest with those of you who care to listen and are seeking to understand. I wrote this to let you see the world from my perspective and possibly the perspective of millions who look like me.
The #BLM movement, from what I can tell, is also about seeking to be understood. It is also about building bridges. They are just doing it loudly. They are not about hate, or being anti, or radical. They are not N.W.A. and “F*ck Tha Police”. They are Langston Hughes and “I, Too”.
“I, too, sing America.
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I’ll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody’ll dare
Say to me,
“Eat in the kitchen,”
Then.
Besides,
They’ll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed —
I, too, am America.”
-Langston Hughes