More often than not, a parent can be the source for overstepping boundaries pretty often. You feel guilt and little to no joy because they suck it right out of you. There’s a great book I recommend called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. They talk A LOT about issues with families and think it will be very beneficial for you. Most of what I learned in the blog was because of that book. I picked it up at the behest of my wife who saw that a lack of boundaries and people pleasing was killing me.
I’m still not the greatest at it, but I’ve gotten a lot healthier. I’ve learned not to feel bad when I say no, because it means that person doesn’t respect me, and that not a person I need affirmation from anyway. One thing you may learn is that in order to be healthy there are some relationships you have to sever, and that can be extremely hard. Toxic people typically have never suffered the consequences of their actions, so it’s important for someone to enforce that with them so they learn. I’ve had to do it myself. I’m always gentle but explain there are consequences for their actions. I’m not happy I have to do it, but I want them to be healthy in the long run.
Hope that helps, and thank you for continuing to read my work and engage in these conversations!