My left side hurts more
Whenever I see antisemitism from the far right, it doesn’t really hurt. Sometimes it even makes me laugh — the nakedness of it is so stark that it’s almost funny. And there’s a satisfying anger that comes from it too — an instinctive, uncomplicated opposing emotion. They hate the Jews. I hate them.
I’ve always felt that antisemitism from the left is less dangerous than antisemitism on the right. There are many Jews who will disagree with me on this, especially from my parents’ generation. While I think it’s irrational, their hypersensitivity is genetic and entirely understandable —most of them were raised by traumatised Holocaust survivors who knew how slippery the slope could be. The fear is in their blood.
In one way, I don’t have the same fear. This is because I’m part of a generation that is, historically speaking, fairly exceptional. Jews in the UK— and in most of the West — are in their third assimilated generation, and are relatively safe. This has never really happened before. We’re incredibly lucky.
But in another way, the fear is in my blood too. I don’t think I define “danger” in the same way as other people do. I’m sure this is something that Jews share with every minority. For me, intellectual or moral decline isn’t “danger” as such. “Danger” is when you think you or your family might be physically hurt or killed. All the other types of danger are awful, and yep, they might be a pre-curser to something bigger, but for now I can live with them, literally.
And thus why, on those terms, I think antisemitism on the left is less obviously dangerous. I don’t think lazily antisemitic lefties, or even actually antisemitic lefties, want to do me any harm. When I see a far right, swastika-bearing blackshirt wannabe in Charlottesville, it’s fairly clear that they do. I know this is reductive and oversimplified, and that having such a high bar for the definition of “danger” is slightly tragic in itself, but that’s what I feel.
But while antisemitism from the left may be less dangerous than its uglier incarnation on the right, it hurts a lot more. When I started writing this blog, there were a list of things that I felt like I needed to say. Things like “many Jews are very critical of Netanyahu”, “most Jews are very liberal and progressive”, “did you know that British Jewry has been aligned with the Labour party for decades?”, “attacking antisemitism on the left does not mean you’re a Tory” … but then I realised how depressing it was that I felt like I even needed to write those things.
This is what I want to write:
When I see images of white supremacists in Charlottesville, I feel anger. It’s that almost thrilling, cathartic, simple anger that makes me want to take to the streets and punch a Nazi.
But when I see and feel antisemitism from the left, that satisfying anger isn’t there — it’s numbed by exhaustion and betrayal. I don’t want to punch these people, because most of the time, these are my people.
It makes me want to curl up in bed and switch the news off. I feel it in the pit of my stomach, like heartbreak.
