A Gift Idea Guaranteed to Work

Do you find it stressful to shop for holiday gifts? According to a poll by Consumer Reports, the number one thing that Americans dread during the holidays is crowds and long lines — so say 64% of Americans. And 55% say they hate driving in shopping centers and bad traffic during the holidays. Or maybe the problem is that you don’t know what to get for your mom who already has everything. Or your dad, who doesn’t want anything. Or your sister, who hates whatever you get her anyways. Or maybe all you do is trade gift cards with others, because that’s the easiest thing to do. Gift-giving is hard!

I’d like to suggest to you a different idea for a gift, one which involves no shopping. You will actually enjoy making the gift and giving it. The recipient is guaranteed to like it. And best of all, it’s completely free.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Wait, did he just say ‘making the gift’? Whoa! Uh-uh, that’s not me. I can wrap presents, but that’s the extent of my craft-making skills. I think he’s talking about somebody else.” No, actually, I’m talking about you. Don’t worry, my gift idea can work for anybody. Let me explain what I mean.

Do you remember the last time that you had a really good day? I bet that it had something to do with someone saying something nice to you. I remember one of the best days I had in the past year. It was when I received a truly heartfelt recommendation on my LinkedIn profile from a colleague and friend.

I’m a software engineer at LinkedIn, and I participate in a program called Startin (that’s not a typo; everything at LinkedIn ends with “IN”), a mentoring program for new software engineering employees who have just graduated from college. I’m lucky enough to work closely with Michelle Carrega, who runs the Startin program (among others). Michelle is one of the most positive, most caring, most hard-working people I’ve ever met. My work with Startin is very rewarding, but it’s not reflected in my official performance evaluation, so I asked Michelle to recommend me on my LinkedIn profile. And she wrote me a recommendation that put a lump in my throat because I could tell that she understood how much I cared about these young engineers.

The point of my story is that one of the best things you can do for people is to tell them how wonderful they are. Think about the last time that you told your spouse or partner, your children, your parents, or your friends how much you valued them, how much you loved them. No, I don’t mean “love you, bye” on the phone, or “love you, have a nice day, sweetie.” I mean REALLY tell them. Now, you might say, “Oh, I don’t know. That sounds kind of mushy. I’m not that kind of person. My family/friends know how much I love them. I think. I hope. And anyways, it’s not like I’m going to die tomorrow. I’ll probably have time to tell them later.”

That’s what you tell yourself. But can you really know for sure that you’ll be here tomorrow to tell them? After all, anything could happen. Imagine that, for whatever unexpected reason, you were unable to tell your loved ones how much you loved them before you passed away. I know, this sounds bad, and I hope you’re not superstitious. Just bear with me for a moment. Imagine that you had foreseen this problem, and, in your wisdom, you had written a letter exactly for this situation where you told them everything you wanted to say, but never got the chance to tell them.

Well, guess what, today’s your lucky day. You’re still alive. You can still write them that letter, you can still tell them all those things. What would you say? Would you tell them how much they’ve changed your life? Would you tell them how much good they bring to the world? Would you tell them about all the corny jokes, the pet peeves, the weird obsessions, and the nervous habits that make them an irreplaceable light in your life, that make your life worth living? Would you tell them about all the things that make you proud of them? Would you tell them that you notice how much they care about becoming a wiser mother, a gentler father, a stronger athlete, a smarter worker, a more caring mentor, a better human being?

This year, if you haven’t gotten someone a gift yet, and you can’t figure out what to buy them, don’t just settle for a gift card. Don’t rack your brain trying to figure out what they want. What they want is to matter and to feel loved. Write a letter telling them how you love them, and wrap it up as their present. I can guarantee you they’ll like it.