Ben Leiter
Sep 9, 2018 · 2 min read

“Mueller here. Who’s calling, please?”
“They did not tell you?”
“Yes, but if you would please self-identify.”
“You know already, from my phone and my accent, no?”
“Pretty much. How can I help you, ma’am?”
“I like you already. No names. You can call me Miss M.”
“Alright. Go ahead Miss M.”
“I want to meet with you, sir. You alone. I am much angry, have many things
to say. But I know people listen in on my phone, and I think yours.”
“Yes, ma’am, I understand.”
“In my country, the men misbehave, too. But they never embarrass their
families. I can tell you about obstacle to the justice.”
“I think you mean obstruction of justice?”
“Yes. That. Thank you, sir. I am told many things on the pillow. My information also about washing large money . . .yes? How you say it?”
“Yes, ma’am. We call it money laundering. It means to illegally move
money around so it can’t be traced and ends up in seemingly legal accounts
and uses. Miss M, I can suggest two places we could meet, invisible
and totally secure.”
“Yes, Miss M. The parking garage of the Washington Post or the undergroundparking garage of the Watergate Complex.”
“Why there?”
“Well, ma’am, after the Watergate scandals, and 9/11, those two locations
are some of the most secure in the city. Since they are underground,
electronic eavesdropping is difficult.”
“Sir, it must be this weekend. My husband is in Russia, meeting a friend. I will have my Secret Service take me to the shopping mall at the Watergate. I will
be in the back of the store called Star Nails. I am friends with the owner.
She call me ‘Hooneeey.’”
“Miss M, we can offer you protection in case the Secret Service poses a
problem. They are under the jurisdiction of the Chief Executive.”
“Thank you, sir. But I do not need protection. I have papers and discs. I
made the notary statements. They remain with special law firm. Anything
happen to me or my Barron, even accident, it all comes out.”
“Ma’am I appreciate your offer of assistance. But, if I may ask, what would
you like to see happen and how can I help?”
“This country has been most wonderful to me. My husband, he turn it into
Balkans. I know Balkans. They always fight one against the other. All the
“I am done. . . Stormy Daniels . . . what a name. She broke camel’s back.”


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