The Constant Fight Against Empty Inspiration

My brain and my heart wage endless war over my desire to write

Reading is a thing that is fun and good. Reading was a central, foundational part of my childhood and adolescence. Reading will always be a part of me.

Reading introduced me to words like hitherto and penultimate, quintessential and antithetical. Reading took me from the battles of the Roman Empire to the walls of Minas Tirith to the pantheon of the Greek gods.

Reading allowed me to escape, to imagine, to live a life entirely separate from my own with no consequences other than the passing of time and the bittersweetness of finishing a book.

More important than any of those things, however — reading makes me want to write.

Great writing makes me want to write. It ignites something deeper than deep goes, wakening the ancient, illusive leviathan that is inspiration. For a moment, anything seems possible — a book, an article, a poem, a song — who knows what I could create?

Words and ideas swim frantically behind my eyes, pen goes to paper and…

Nothing.

Even now, writing this, I’ve seen more of the blinking (taunting) cursor than I have written words. The moment of inspiration, overflowing just moments before has emptied itself back into the ocean, vanished with barely even a ripple.

With the inspiration gone, the desire to write beats a familiar path, retreating back into the shadows and waiting for another spark.

I can’t finish what I start, and ideas rise and fall faster than William Henry Harrison’s presidency. Part of this is what I’ve described above, but most of it is actually self-inflicted — allowing self-doubt and fear of failure to stop something before it even begins.

That’s why I’ve decided to do something slightly radical.

Ok, maybe radical is too strong a word. But it is going to be a stretch.

I’m going to write something once a week for the next 12 weeks.

Do I have any clue about the things I’m going to write about? No. Will most of it be complete junk? More than likely. But I’m not doing it for the quality.

I’m doing it to force myself to start chasing a dream I’m terrified of chasing.

I am completely confident that I have not even the slightest idea where this will end up. I am also completely confident that I will thank myself at the end of it. There is only one thing missing, now — you.

If you have things you want me to write about, tell me. If you have a story you want told, but don’t know how, tell me about it. If you’re a friend of mine, check in with me and MAKE DAMN SURE I’m actually following through on this. If you’re a stranger, then all your suggestions/tips/encouragement will be welcomed with the deepest thanks.

And so it begins. See you on the other side.