Dear Kraft: Mac N’ Cheese Boxes Are the Wrong Size for Adults
Listen up, Kraft.
You don’t get a pass for manufacturing the single greatest part of being a kid: mac n’ cheese. Someone needs to hold you accountable for your crimes against ADULTS.
Listen, we love your product, too, and I speak on behalf of all sensible non-kids when I ask: why is a box of mac n’ cheese definitely more than one serving, but definitely not two?
This is a scientific fact. Every adult knows it. And don’t give me any bull about how there’s “three servings” per box. Serving sizes are a sham; comedian Brian Regan famously shed light on the serving size of Fig Newtons: two cookies. NEWS FLASH: if I held myself to a two-thousand calorie diet, I wouldn’t be eating powdered cheese that, I assume, is just as potent as cocaine if snorted.
Have you ever had to split a box of mac n’ cheese with a grown adult? It must constantly spark fights between couples; whoever is filling bowls has to decide to dick over their partner or themselves. If you’re single like I am, there’s not enough after a serving to keep as leftovers, so boxes of mac n’ cheese are a one-way ticket to ShameTown, population: anyone who doesn’t have the self-control of a Buddhist monk.
