I’ve seen a lot of people posting about about the recent Victoria Police detective comments that “parks aren’t safe for women”, denouncing it for the victim blaming that it is.

But you know what? All those people have been women.

The most prominent male voices are men telling women to stay indoors.

Well balls to that. It’s not the fucking park that’s unsafe, detective, it’s the man wielding the knife.

Who knows what this man’s deal is, or why he has done this terrible thing. But it shouldn’t be only women who speak up to defend the victim, just as men should be speaking out against violence in many other circumstances.

Around us every day, men say things about women that other men hear and think are awful, but those other men look away and say nothing and the speaker takes that as confirmation they think the same way. Just as sometimes “everyone knows” a man abuses his partner but his male friends pretend it’s “not their problem” or “not their place to get involved” and instead women have to make do with whispering the truth to each other about such men and they go on to harm someone whom the whispers haven’t yet reached. This culture can’t help but contribute to the mindset of men who murder women; it makes them think they can get away with it.

So if you want to change this culture where we talk about what victims must do rather than addressing why people commit these crimes, speak up. Do it in public. Raise your voices. This isn’t a “women’s issue”, this is life and death. We all can at least decry it. Maybe that won’t stop someone making the choice to do this, but it’ll sure focus our attention where it should be — on the perpetrator of the crime.

Edited because, as a friend pointed out, we don’t know the facts in this case. And I’m sorry to anyone upset by me talking about this while it’s still so raw. I hope these words do more good than harm.