Why You Weren’t Invited to the “Dungeons and Dragons” Game
If you play Dungeons and Dragons, or any role playing game for that matter, you’ve probably found yourself in the same awkward situation as I have. A friend accidentally mentions a campaign that you’ve never heard of. This campaign is composed of, surprise, a bunch of mutual friends. Not once has anyone even mentioned the game to you, much less asked you to participate. It can be an awkward situation: you think you weren’t invited because the group secretly hates you, and they know that you think you weren’t invited because the group secretly hates you, and you know that they know that you think you weren’t invited because the group secretly hates you. Talk about a disaster!
The good news is that everyone else hating you is just one reason for you being excluded. So take heart in the belief that one of these reasons is probably the more plausible explanation.
- The party is full
While “The more the merrier!” is a great mantra for drinking games and Milton Bradley’s Twister, it doesn’t always apply to table top role playing. Having too many characters in the party can seriously dilute the amount of experience points that each character gets, and thus slow the progress of everyone involved.
2. Your play style conflicts with the rest of the group
Its easy to fall into the trap of thinking that all Dungeons and Dragons groups are created equal, but its simply not true. Some groups are more role play oriented and like to solve problems more diplomatically, some prefer to stab everything with sharp, pointy swords. So if you’re the type of person who likes to kick open doors and ask questions later, maybe you wouldn’t want to join that covert ops group anyway.
3. The group is a front for the Illuminati
The fact of the matter is that, aside from karaoke dive bars and abandoned car washes, role playing groups are the most utilized meeting places for our reptilian overlords. Its the perfect cover. Nerds sitting at a table dressed up in costumes with playmats and miniatures look exactly like shapeshifter war rooms. Its probably best if you don’t investigate this issue further.
4. You’re invitation got lost in the mail
Your dungeon master’s handwriting isn’t the best. Come to think of it, do they even have your address?
5. You are a dragon
Open the 2nd edition “Monster Manual” and look at all the different types of dragons there are. Red dragons, black dragons, gold dragons, sapphire dragons, brass dragons, brown dragons, cloud dragons, shadow dragons, dracolichs (undead skeleton dragons, very scary!), blue dragons, green dragons, blue-green dragons, white dragons, crystal dragons, emerald dragons, topaz dragons, bronze dragons, deep dragons, mercury dragons, mist dragons, dragon turtles, pseudodragons, etc. Half the book is dragons! How many entries are there for Human? One! So chances are you’re a dragon, and no one wants to play Dungeons and Dragons with an actual dragon.
6. You are a dungeon
Are you riddled with deadly traps? Do adventurers explore you on flimsy or no pretext? Do monsters roam your bowels? You might be a dungeon! And no one wants to play Dungeons and Dragons with an actual dungeon.
7. There are not enough chairs
Bet you never considered this one! If I had a nickel for every time this happened, I could afford to retire from adventuring, and buy a chair.