My Brother’s Keeper — Preamble

41 years ago my brother was born in to his family. 38 years ago he saw his little brother in to the world. 13 years ago he joined his second family. 9 years ago, he gained a whole band of brothers. 1 year ago today, we all said good bye to him.

He was seen off from this world in a full military service having served 3 tours as a Commando in 4RAR and 2 Commando regiments. As an indelible, and final, moment as that was, it wasn’t as meaningful as the last time I saw him.

I was preparing to head overseas on my own tour with a one way ticket, and organised a gathering to say good bye. As I entered the the bar and exited the elevator on to the top floor, the first person I saw was Matt leaning at the bar, facing the door expectantly with a big smile on his face. I was so happy and it really made the night. Mum and dad came too, and we celebrated together. It was the last time we’d all be together as a family.

After a celebratory evening, it was time to leave. We exited the bar on to the street and Matt came over saying “Good bye brother, take it easy.” We hugged it out with one of his big bear hugs. If I had have known it was for the last time, I would never have let go.

The last year has been crippling and an incredible journey of grief and despair shared with mum and dad. I’ve spent most of it living in the past, unable to really see a future. Losing my big bro really felt like I’d lost both of our futures. But I owe it to both of us to keep moving forward and live the best life I can. That’s how I will keep him alive.

Until the day I join him in the distant future, I am my brother’s keeper. Then, hopefully as the elevator up in the sky opens up, he’ll be there waiting just as he was last time.