“TWICE A DAY?? ARE YOU CRAZY?? Who has time to have sex twice a day?? Why would you even want to have sex twice a day? I’m not a sex fiend!”
That’s often the way people respond when I recommend making love to their partner twice a day. It feels hard. It feels impossible. It doesn’t make any sense. And then once they do it, they truly understand why it’s important, and it changes everything.
I’m not talking about sex in the sense of just getting in, getting off and getting out. I’m not talking about empty calories. I’m talking about connection. Love. Intimacy. Depth. Life force energy that fuels your life. I’m talking about a magnet that draws you closer together, with nothing that can stop you…
When my wife Jen Rode is in another town, I want to be back home with her.
When I am home with her, I want to be in the same room as her.
When I am across the room from her, I want her to be closer to me still.
I want to hold her.
When I’m holding her, I want to kiss her.
When I’m kissing her, I want to be even closer to her, but we are separated by clothes.
When we are skin to skin, we are electrified and energized, and we want to be closer still.
Then, as I make love to her, I want to be even closer. But how is that possible?
I expand my heart to overtake her as I look into her eyes, falling into her soul. Finding new ways to connect deeper is a practice that can last forever…
Jen and I have been guiding couples for over 5 years, and we have noticed a trend that often leads to talks of divorce. One day, several years prior, they didn’t have sex. That day led to 2 days, which led to 2 weeks, which eventually led to 2 months, and then to 2 years. One day, they stop flirting. They stop creating the time to focus their attention on each other. They let work come first, or being tired, or kids, or laundry…
Now sex has become a chore. Maybe they would find themselves making love once a week, or once a month, but at that point, the polarity in the magnet has already decreased significantly. At the point they come to us, they have drifted so far apart that they don’t know how to come back into each other’s orbit. They don’t want to hold hands or kiss. They don’t have time for date night. Sex is so uncomfortable and awkward that even the thought of making the first move brings on a groan of resentment.
It reminds me of one of those movies where the astronaut ventures out of the shuttle to repair something on a satellite, and a meteor rips through their life line. Now they’re floating off into the abyss, with no way to get back to safety. Yeah. That’s what it feels like.
It’s not their fault. They weren’t taught how to have sex in a way that brings them closer together. They weren’t taught how to have relationships that light them up and last forever. None of us were.
So here’s my simple solution, in 3 phases.
1) Make love twice a day.
2) Notice every reason that makes that difficult to maintain.
3) Fix those things.
There are 2 main reasons this will change your life.
1) You will find a new depth of love that you didn’t realize was even there. When you make love in the morning before you get up, you start your day connecting, sending love to each other, and reminding your partner you are there for them. When you make love every night when you go to bed, you reconnect after whatever happened throughout the day, and drift off into a deep, blissful sleep after being loved up by your beloved. If you and your partner make each other your #1 priority, everything else falls into place. You have more energy for life purpose, you are more connected as parents and your kids soak up what it feels like to be in a relationship that feeds your soul. You feel loved on every level, and now you can take that energy out into the rest of the world. It fuels you!
2) It will eliminate everything that is keeping you and your partner from deepening your intimacy, as long as you’re willing to push through it. Whatever comes up as a reason to Not make love twice a day is just an indicator of something standing between you and your partner. There is not a single true reason to not make love twice a day, I don’t care how convincing the reason sounds. One can allow themselves to be convinced of the reason it isn’t possible, but it’s my job to help people have that fairy tale relationship, so I can’t allow myself to be sucked into it… Sorry ;)
Sex feels amazing. It’s fun. It has health benefits. It’s free. It builds your relationship. If it feels like work, that’s how you know it will help your relationship to find a way to make love twice a day.
Will you take me up on my challenge to make love to your partner twice a day?
Every single couple that has taken us up on our challenge has said something to the effect of,
“I always wondered why you 2 want to have sex twice a day, but I GET IT NOW!”
There is a 50%-70% divorce rate between the US and Belgium… Let’s do something different, shall we? In this new paradigm of relationship, we let nothing stand in between us and our partner.
I tell my wife 100x a day how much I love her, how beautiful she is, how blown away I am by the incredible quality of information that comes through her, how amazing of a leader she is, and how insanely attracted I am to her. I tell her she is the most important thing in my life, and that I am so grateful to have her as my wife. I don’t just tell her… I show her. My words are loud, but my actions speak much louder. If my perfect woman doesn’t start off every day feeling loved and adored, and if she isn’t going to sleep every night feeling cherished and appreciated, then I have not served her as well as I could have. It is my intention that we take our relationship just a little bit deeper every single day as a way to see what’s really possible. If we don’t go deeper every day, we’ll never know.
So, can I have your commitment that you’ll make love to your partner twice a day?? Can you imagine if every couple on the planet was this well loved? How would that effect violence, crime and war?
Please let us know how it goes for you! And thanks for taking me up on my offer to deepen your relationship!
And of course, please spread this around and join us in the conversation below!
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If you have any questions, please email us at Ben@Rodeinstitute.com, or check out the website at www.RodeInstitute.com
Ben and Jen have room in their next 10 day Multidimensional Awakening Retreat in Costa Rica (end of January 2018) for:
1 more couple looking to take their partnership to the depths of intimacy and enlightenment.
1 more single woman looking to bring in her life partner to live life purpose with.
This is a break-you-out-of-the-computer-program kind of event for those who are ready to complete their mission.