Quelle Chris: Self love through self doubt
Overanalizing Music #4
Off kilter flow on a lovely weird beat. I love the song for many different reasons, but one thing that stands out from this whole project (Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often), which is learning to love yourself while knowing your faults. This is abundantly clear from the first song on the record, the above Buddies with a stand out line “Some girls call him cute/Cute call myself I”. On the album description it’s said that Chris is “surfing on waves of self-confidence, enduring periods of self-doubt, and searching for a sustainable balance.”
Pairing that with the strange beats and laid back voice, the message becomes even clearer, no matter what you grew up as, it’s fine to love yourself. Bringing in lines like “this party is bullshit”, on some of the most abrasive melodies this side of Danny Brown (which honestly I’m impressed he can ride, while Jean kills it), it’s all a part of this weird kid aesthetic. Next to The Prestige, Don’t Get Changed and Birthdaze are some of the hardest instrumentals to digest, and have so much to love in the over the top weirdness. That last one especially starts with the lines “Feels like my birthday today, and those are the worst days/If it’s a race for the end, then why come in first place?” clearly operating in the weird kid space.
And just how he lays back on the beat, riding wherever he feels like, sometimes ahead, sometimes behind, but usually off it or just within the general parameters, he can also bring it all to comfort, which is where It’s Great to Be gains part of its power, next to an underlying disconcerting feeling. Quite contrarily The Dreamer in the Den of Wolves gains its power from loudness and brash energy, while feeling very comfortable in its style and genre, a dreamer in a den of wolves.
At the same time, there’s a drugged out influence on many beats, there’s the weight of self doubt and anxiety peppered around, and in many ways, this positivity needs to grow out of a place of despair nearly. And this is where the title comes into play again, while the You discussed in most places on the tracklist is actually the same as I, he needs to project what he wants to be on something separate, because “I guess I got dumb for brains” and “Seems I never reach the goal but always reach the finish”, this last in context of the race line earlier gets quite dark, “though, I know my heart, goes”. He needs to separate the imperfect self from the You he wishes he could be more often, it’s an aspiration that feels mostly unattainable, but at the same time it is, in the end, himself.
This might be the weirdest hip hop album out there this year that still operates within the rules, not going experimental on everyone’s faces, and as a project to work on, find and build up self worth from the eyes of the unequivocally weird, it’s quite incredible.
