Living to please? It will destroy you.

Benjamin van Driel
Jul 28, 2017 · 2 min read

We all love people to be happy with us from our bosses to our families — each of us has those people who we like feel proud of us. We work hard, visit places we wouldn’t want to choose to, do things we don’t want to, all in order for us to feel the pride others have in us.

I was stood today in a funeral where I was singing. I’ve played drums in different contexts for years and have had a variety of public speaking engagements in various arenas. Performing — being in the public eye is not something that scares me, however today it.

It was at that moment that I realised something, something which I believe we can all do — I was taking my security from the opinons of humanity.

I’ve lived to please often, at times, like today I still do. But I no longer want or desire for it to be the place I build my life upon.

The approval and pride of others are good and it is helpful — but if you live from it, you will end up living for it, and that will eventually destroy you.

When I was at school I used to listen to peoples opinions of me way too much, I was afraid, shy and lonely — it wasn’t expressed in public, but it was how I felt. I began to live to please, trying to achive in order to be recognised and have friends the reality was, I was constantly failing.

It did begin to destroy me. Until I realised there was a better way. I began to dream: “What if my security was not based on people’s opinions of me?”

I began to allow another voice to speak truth into my life — the voice of hope.

Hope calls out the gold inside of us, speaking life to the very things that we thought were dead. It enables us to take pride in ourselves before others do. It brings strength to the places we are weak and gives joy in the darkest times.

When you listen to Hope your life motive is changed.

You no longer live to seek the approval of others. You live from approval not for apporval. There is an ancient proverb that says seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.

We were made to live from approval, not for approval — some where we got it wrong. It calls for us to being to think differently, to seek after something that offers real satisfaction.

And if you are seeking to live from that place, listening to the voice of Hope, carry on, it’s waiting for you.

Benjamin van Driel

Oxstalls Campus Chaplain @ University of Gloucestesrshire Lovestudents.org Cheltenham, England

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