Why I Drank
I’m two years into my sobriety and there’s still a nagging question that I’ve never quite been able to answer: why did I start drinking so much in the first place?
When I see fictional depictions of alcoholics, the explanation for their addiction tends to be clear and precise. These characters follow a common pattern: they suffer a life-changing trauma, then turn to alcohol to cope.
I recently saw an example of this in the superhero TV show Arrow. Officer Lance, the hero’s sometimes-antagonist, begins the series as a raging alcoholic. He picked up the habit because his daughter was lost at sea several years earlier.
Why does Officer Lance drink? To deal with his dark personal tragedy.
But why did I drink? The answer isn’t as straight-forward.
I never went through a life-defining tragedy. I haven’t experienced an earth-shattering event that suddenly flipped the switch and turned me into an addict.
Pop culture — movies, tv, books, etc. — thrive on drama. Having a character struggle with a clearly defined trauma lends itself perfectly to this. In the real world, addiction isn’t always so clear cut.
My addiction wasn’t a response to a singular event — it was the culmination of several factors. Some of the reasons for my addiction are clear, and others I’m still searching…
