Hello wonderful friends and family.
I have to admit, I’ve had periods of strong faith throughout the last 5 weeks, and I’ve had some pretty weak moments of faith.
This past weekend held some weak moments of questioning my strength. For some reason, coming to the hospital on a saturday is one of the loneliest feelings. I sat down in the hospital room. Adam and Elizah left for the day, and I felt like the room was closing in on me. When you’re in the middle of something really terrifying, it’s hard to see the light at the end. Isaac, at this point was gasping for air during every feeding and I broke down every 3 hours when he was in my arms and it was feeding time. “Where is the end to this God?” “How do I get through this when I can’t even seem to make it through the next 3 hour period?” “How are we going to manage when we are finally home with him?” “Where are you, God?!”
“To the faithful, He shows himself faithful” 2 Samual 22:26
I’ve tried to keep this one close to me, even though it feels really hard when God doesn’t seem to be coming through with the second part.
But He always does, and ALWAYS has in my life.
I was listening to a sermon from Elevation Church. The guest pastor, Keion Henderson said that sometimes we give up when we are just 2 exits from where you are about to get off the highway and into what God has in store for us without knowing it.
I feel like we are starting to see the light of God’s faithfulness after holding on for what seems like an unbearable amount of time.We are seeing our exit sign just a mile ahead.
Since the weekend, this is what has transpired:
On Monday, Isaac started to turn a corner. Adam found a new position for him to eat that seems to open up his airway a bit more. He has taken off with his feedings since then! He has consistently taken down every bottle with no problem for the last 3 days! The nurse even started putting a few extra milliliters in his bottle to see what he would do, and he took those down too!He has been impressing all of the nurses and doctors with his feeding stats. Isaac pulled out his NG feeding tube on his own early in the morning on Tuesday, as if to say “I won’t be needing this anymore, guys”.
Also, the team checked and changed his wound vac on Tuesday with an excellent report! The wound looks clean and is healing very well!
This is a good reminder to me to hang on, even when it feels like nothing is happening and God is silent, because He can do miracles and turn everything around where it seems like it is impossible.