You The Gospel According to Yeezus

First and foremost, is all of this Kanye-hate reasonable in the grand scheme of musicians doing crazy shit? No.

In 1969, members of Led Zeppelin along with their manager Richard Cole were alleged to have shoved a coat hanger through the gills of a red snapper fish (or a mudshark, at this point it didn’t really matter), proceeding to use said fish as a sex object on one of their groupies. Result? An epic legend of how cool Led Zeppelin was.

In 1968, Cynthia Lennon came home to find her husband John and Yoko Ono sitting cross-legged on the floor, wearing white robes, staring into each others’ eyes. John’s first marriage crashed and burned, John married Yoko, yada yada yada, the Beatles broke up. Result? You probably had no idea that Cynthia Lennon existed before just now.

Eric Clapton wrote the songs “Layla” and “Have You Ever Loved a Woman” about Patti Harrison, his best friend George (of the Beatles) Harrison’s wife. Patti and George were divorced soon after, and Eric swooped in, pulling off the ultimate robbery. But why did Patti divorce George? BECAUSE GEORGE WAS CANOODLING WITH RINGO STARR’S WIFE ON THE SIDE. Result? Everyone fucked everyone else’s wives, and no one thought less of them for it.

While recording for what would become the album Smile in 1967, legendary Beach Boys producer/singer/songwriter Brian Wilson asked Beatles member Paul McCartney to join the band in studio to feature on the song “Vege-Tables”. How did Wilson want McCartney (one of the most famous musicians on the planet) to contribute? Bass? Piano? Writing assistance? An additional vocalist? No.

Celery.

Brian Wilson had Paul McCartney record himself chewing celery, and then used the celery-chomping sounds as percussion on the track. The end result? A practical waste of musical talent, a bad song, and another story attesting to Brian Wilson’s creativity.

Jim Morrison of the Doors? Redefined what it meant to be an alcoholic.

Kurt Cobain of Nirvana? Heroin addict.

Everyone in the Rolling Stones? Sweet goodness.

Do you know how many people still attempt to defend Michael Jackson and Chris Brown?

Comparatively, Kanye marrying Kim Kardashian and naming his daughter North is relatively tame. His son’s name might be Saint, but to my knowledge he’s never fucked a girl with a fish.

However, in the modern era of society, where the combination of outlets such as Twitter, the Huffington Post, FaceBook, etc., can dissect every aspect of a man’s life on a day-to-day basis to a much broader audience, Kanye seems a lot worse than he actually is. There weren’t droves of social justice warriors on Twitter in 1965 to rail against inflammatory comments made by people like John Lennon, or to speak out against the basic levels of human indecency displayed by the other cultural icons of the time. As a result, the craziness of legendary musicians has subsided from the realm of public consciousness; if anything, a lot of the less-than-decent things they did have only added to their legends.

Essentially, the Internet has made bodying Taylor Swift on National TV a lot harder than it would have been years before; accordingly, the actions of Ye have been blown severely out of proportion.

But it isn’t about the theatrics. It’s not about the crazy Tweets, the expensive clothing, the award show interruptions. Kanye’s musical greatness outshines all of that, like the sun cresting above a mountain range of ill-advised public comments.

Kanye’s consistency over the last decade has been mind-boggling — he’s like LeBron James with a drum machine and a better hair line. From College Dropout roots, through to The Life of Pablo, the Yeezy discography is packed with landmark songs, insane levels of layered production value, and an absolute fuck load of samples. Through humor, expert lyricism, and a groundbreaking approach to “beat production”, Kanye West has left an ever-lasting mark on the game he entered all of those years ago.

“I miss the old Kanye, straight from the ‘Go Kanye. Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals Kanye. I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye. The always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye.” — Kanye West

“I Love Kanye” on The Life of Pablo was a joke track, an amusing 55 seconds or so poking fun at his own larger-than-life persona. But the idea of multiple Kanyes, of differing eras of Kanye, is quite accurate. Where West differentiates himself from his colleagues is his tendency for base unpredictability. I have zero (!!!) concept of what to expect from a Kanye album in the weeks leading up to a release. ZERO. The Life of Pablo could have been an album consisting solely of elevator music and Holy Quran verses for all I’d known. To put that into context:

(Disclaimer: Drake and J. Cole stans, look away or find some other way to occupy your time for the next two paragraphs (i.e. Get your eyebrows threaded, flex unnecessarily in an Instagram picture, make one of those stupid “eyes-half-closed-mouth-sort-of-open” Snapchat selfies, etc.))

When Views dropped, I knew EXACTLY what it was going to sound like before “Keep the Family Close” even started playing. I hoped for more. I prayed for more. But like clockwork, Drake delivered the same old tired shit he’s been peddling for eight years. He sings about women, he sings about being unsatisfied with his position in life, he sings about being satisfied with his position in life… oh, and he rhymes too. The only thing I didn’t expect was for him to put 20 (TWENTY) songs into something he had to realize was borderline mediocre. Views is an example of Drake trying too hard to live up to the distant, “emotionally detached guy who wants to be complicated” persona that Drake has made for himself. The album cover is a photoshopped picture of him sitting alone on top of the Toronto CN Tower, for fuck’s sake. And no, “One Dance” and “Hotline Bling” (added as a bonus track, with the sole purpose of making the whole project more sellable) do not make this a good album.

“Took a break from “Views”, now it’s back to that.” — Drake, getting people unnecessarily excited.

“I let you feel like the shit, but boy, you can’t out-fart me.” — J. Cole, who actually said this once. It really happened. I’m serious.

I hate J. Cole, and despite 2014 Forest Hills Drive going 2x Platinum with no features (because apparently that’s a meaningful fucking statement), all of his music has sounded the same since the Come Up in 2007. Listening to J. Cole is like going to Subway, and getting the exact same sandwich you’ve been getting for the last eight years. Calling him vanilla is unfair, because at least vanilla ice cream is enjoyable every once in a while. At least vanilla ice cream can be augmented and reinvented into something different (vanilla w/ chocolate chips, vanilla + hot fudge, etc.), unlike J. Cole, who went 2x platinum with no features. If not for me being aware of the music he puts out into the public sphere, I could be fooled into thinking that any given J. Cole song could belong to any given J. Cole album. His entire discography could literally constitute one 100-song album recorded in the same month in 2006, and I wouldn’t know any better. Now, J. Cole diehards will read this and immediately push back with, “You don’t like Cole, because his music actually forces you to stop and think”, which is an argument generated by troglodytes who can’t understand things. To those utilizing this train of thought, have you any idea how many artists exist that consistently create thought provoking music, that you’ve probably never heard of? The next time a Cole fan hits you with this, ask them what their favorite Sufjan Stevens track is and why, what they think Elliott Smith was going through when he wrote ‘Miss Misery’, and then follow that up by asking them what Friedrich Nietzsche meant when he said that God was dead. LISTENING TO J. COLE DOES NOT MAKE YOU SMART OR DEEP. NOT LISTENING TO J. COLE DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FUCKING IMBECILE. LISTENING TO ANYTHING DOESN’T DO EITHER OF THOSE THINGS. THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS AREN’T LISTENING TO ‘ST. TROPEZ’ AND GOING, “OH FUCK, I UNDERSTAND STRING THEORY NOW.” THEY’RE READING BOOKS AND ATRENDING LECTURES. But I digress.

Lyrically, he’s the Chris Paul to Drake’s Austin Rivers (look up Austin Rivers’ career numbers, and then resume reading); however, his lyrics are dying to be channeled into a more interesting vessel. Progression for the sake of progression isn’t necessarily a good thing, but switching things up can be fun sometimes, too.

I’m a fan of both Drake and Cole. And as a fan, I can look at their careers critically and come to the conclusion that neither of them are relatively interesting as artists. The music isn’t bad to say the least (except for Views, that 💩 was trash), it just gets frustrating to see a pair of artists run through the same old blueprint time and time again. At the end of the day, talk of Courtney from the Hooters on Peach Tree and crooked smiles doesn’t do it for me anymore.

Now, journey with me to the other end of the spectrum.

Musically, Kanye is like a guy whose parallel Universe selves all somehow converged into the same Universe, and took turns dropping records. Before dropping his first solo record, Ye made his mark through producing tracks for other artists, several of which became theme songs of the early 2000s:

• “Izzo (H.O.V. A.)”, “’03 Bonnie and Clyde”, and “Lucifer” by Jay-Z
• “Stand Up” by Ludacris
• “You Don’t Know My Name” by Alicia Keys

But then, the time came. The College Dropout dropped(out) in 2004. Featuring samples from Lauryn Hill, Luther Vandross, Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, Tupac Shakur, and a smattering of DeRay Davis skits, the album received ten Grammy nominations and formally announced the arrival of potentially the next big thing. Songs like “We Don’t Care”, “Slow Jamz”, “All Falls Down”, and “Jesus Walks” were in regular circulation, defining and embodying the first of the major epochs of Yeezus: funny, down to Earth-ish Kanye. He talked about Jesus, he talked about his family, he told all the ladies to “do those sit-ups right” — he was the Kanye of 2004–2005.

“Ima play this Vandross, you gon’ take your pants off. Ima play this Gladys Knight, me and you gon' get it right.”

Late Registration had a lot to live up to. And it delivered. This was no longer a West with something to prove. This was a West with accolades/album sales, and what a West he was. A Ray Charles sample from “I’ve Got a Woman” gave Ye his first monumental success with “Golddigger”, and Kanye finally began to transition into the Kanye we all know and love. “Diamonds in Sierra Leone” features, to this day, some of the best examples of Kanye’s lyricism, while “Touch the Sky” was the perfect track to signal the colossal amounts of self-indulgence on the horizon. He was arrogant, he was sampling James Bond theme tracks, and he loved his mom (na na naaaa na na naaa na). He was the Yeezus of 2005–2006.

“Take your diamonds and throw ‘em up like you’re bulimic. Yeah, the beat cold but the flow is anemic.”

Graduation was dropped the same week as Curtis, by 50 Cent. Ye sold more units, and delivered a final haymaker to Gangster rap music. It was time for pastel-colored polo shirts and sunglasses you couldn’t see out of. And backpacks. Lots of them. Graduation may be one of the most commercially viable albums of all time; it featured 5 singles (“Stronger”, “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”, “Flashing Lights”, “Goodlife”, and “Homecoming”), another bevy of samples, and peak “Kanye being Kanye” Kanye. The album is grandiose, eccentric, and the complete embodiment of 2007 hip hop. He had mastered the formula of making hit records, and could have realistically remade a version of Graduation every two years for the remainder of his career. The down-to-Earth Ye was gone, replaced by a glowing monolith of 21st century success. 07–08 Yeezy, however, was a turning point.

“I ask, cause I’m not sure, do anybody make real shit anymore?”

In late 2007, Donda West died; 2008's 808s & Heartbreak reflected this, and reflected a greater overall change to Kanye’s style. The album was much more subdued from an audio standpoint than its predecessors. Auto tune was used in excess. But most notably: Kanye sings. A lot. The man followed up one of the decade’s most successful rap albums with a synth-pop R&B record, and in the process ignited a genre dominated today by the likes of the Weeknd, Kid Cudi, Drake, and (still) Ye himself. The record is contemplative, depressing in a sense, and a departure from the career arch Kanye had previously been encompassed in. “Love Lockdown” and “Heartless” became enormous, the critical world wasn’t sure what to think about Kanye’s musical direction, and he started dating Amber Rose. 2008–2009 Kanye was lit af.

“My friend showed me pictures of his kids. And all I could show him were pictures of my cribs.”

And, you know what comes next. “Crazy shit in public Kanye” ensues, the VMAs happen, and Kanye exiles himself to Hawaii (nothing settles the nerves like fresh poke and coconut water). But out of all of the insanity, the public controversy, the crazy statements, Yeezus extracted a masterpiece. 2010's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is Kanye’s productional zenith — “All of the Lights”, for example, features an entire string and brass orchestra, complete with Elton John on the piano. MBDTF was a reversal from 808s, as maximal as the last record was minimal. The bars made a return to the music, the world was introduced on a broad scale to the likes of Pusha T and Nicki Minaj, and songs like “Power”, “Runaway” and “Monster” redefined Kanye’s career. The critics were happy, the fans were happy, new artsy Kanye was still upset, and Amber Rose was nowhere to be seen — 2010–2012 Ye was the direct ancestor of the man we’ve come to love and hate in equal parts.

“And I could have me a good girl, and still be addicted to them hood rats.”

Collaboration Kanye took hold in the form of Watch the Throne and Cruel Summer. But solo Kanye couldn’t be held down for long. Now, how did Yeezy follow up his wildly successful 5th solo album? With a strange, arthouse, 10-song, electro hip hop record that still has some people confused. 2013's Yeezus saw Kanye finally embrace his persona as a self-obsessed lunatic, now complete with Kim Kardashian by his side. The “Bound 2" music video was parodied left and right (see: James Franco and Seth Rogan straddling each other on a motorcycle), songs like “Black Skinhead” became stadium anthems, the line “eating Asian pussy, all I need is sweet and sour sauce” came into existence (thank you Yeezus), and “Blood on the Leaves” set itself apart as a landmark track. That this would follow MBDTF was the sort of thing becoming expected of Kanye West. He claimed himself as a God, he held down the Summer, and (to many) he’d finally lost his fucking mind. 2013–2015 Kanye was my hero.

“I just talked to Jesus. He said, ‘What up, Yeezus?’ I said, ‘Shit, I’m chillin’. Trying to stack these millions.’”

It was October of 2014. I remember walking with a friend through the Student Union of my University, talking about the rumors of a listening party in Paris for Kanye’s new album. Three months later, Ye dropped “Only One” on New Year’s Eve; we figured the album would be coming any day then.

Anyways, 14 months later, The Life of Pablo dropped in February of 2016. In true Kanye fashion, he released one of the most hyped albums of the last several years as a Tidal-only streaming product — physical copies of the record still don’t exist, and probably never will. 2016 Kanye is the the Kanye who kept us waiting, and all told a very reflective Ye. He references Taylor Swift once again on the song “Famous”, looks back on his poor decision-making skills on “FML”, and gives us gospel in the form of “Ultralight Beam” (and a Chance verse for the ages). He gave us Kendrick Lamar (give Kendrick a few years, and he’ll have his own gospel), he gave us Post Malone, he gave us Rihanna, he gave us Ty Dolla Sign, Kid Cudi, a little bit of Frank Ocean (all you can expect from him these days, really), Desiigner, Chance, the Weeknd, Chris Brown, and Swizz Beats too. It was unpredictable, a little schizophrenic in nature, and proof that after nearly 12 years of making records, Yeezus is still our musical Shepard.

“I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, why? I made that bitch famous.”