All Time Considered
Finding purpose in your own context
Coming of age tends to be a bit daunting. Time isn’t as abundant as it once was and it seems to be falling away faster than you can harvest it. As I entered my early twenties I started to recognize the rapid passage of time and my place in it. After the untimely death of a close friend in 2013 I began to consider how limited our time truly is, and this thought terrified me. In my mind I have characterized coming of age as a looming wave of self-realization; a wave so big it takes figurative minutes to gather itself and fall upon you. You look up at it in awe, with full knowledge that it is too massive to escape. All you can do is plant your feet and brace yourself. As it descends upon you it eclipses the sun and suddenly everything is dark. Then, quite abruptly, you are in it, drowning. The water fills your lungs, choking the life from you.
The wave has shattered against the shore. As it recedes a vivid recognition of the present moment remains. Often the reality of the passage of time is difficult to grasp. We attempt to embrace the present, but simultaneously dwell in the past. Regret is a crippling vice. Learn from your past, but don’t linger. If you live in those unalterable memories you are just feeding a cancer. Finding solid ground in the present can be paradoxical, as the present is fleeting, rendering the ground unsteady. We have such a brief time in this life, and while some would find this tragic, others would argue that the tragedy of our brief lives makes them worth pursuing, because what else is there?
We can fall far out of ourselves and consider time in the grand scheme. From this perspective, time is a colossus and near impossible to comprehend. The Earth is approximately four and one half billion years old. Modern humans have only been around for about 250,000 years or so, a drop in the bucket of time. Our lives will optimistically last around eighty to ninety years. So, considering our best-case scenario, we will only exist in this life for a microscopic fraction of a fraction of history. Then when we consider our potential futures we become infinitely smaller than we already are, which was beyond any fathomable understanding of what small is. From this perspective it is easy to lose hope and fall into oblivion, but what fun is that?
There is certainly value in reflecting over the expanse of time and our place within it, but we cannot let it consume us, for there is simply no time to waste. Our lives pass by so quickly that we often miss out on the meat of them. Always find time for the present; live in it, because everything else is speculative. The future is purely hypothetical. Our goals and our master plans are far from concrete and entirely subject to the present. With this knowledge we must seize the present and embrace it while we can. The “good old days” that we constantly reference are today; don’t squander them. The stress of whatever the monotonous day-to-day entails is not always worth the time it will cost. If we think of time as currency to be spent, what should we spend it on? If our lifespans are bank accounts and our days dollars, they need be spent wisely.
The “meaning of life” has been speculated on since human kind gained the capacity for reflection. We may never truly understand why we are here, but this meaning we seek may very well be entirely subjective. We need to consider life in our context. While we may be microscopic in the grand scheme, we are large on a different scale. Size does not necessarily determine value on an individual basis; that is up to us. In the grand scheme mountains are molehills and we are the tiny creatures that huddle in their shadow. But from our perspective mountains inspire awe and loom heavy over us. The relativity of size is more important than our spot on the scale. Now, in an Earthly context, we are still individuals among seven billion, just ants in the anthill. But hone in, into your own community, into your own relationships, into yourself; that is where we find our true value.
The value and subsequent beauty of life can be found in its brief span and abrupt end. Life eternal would leech life of its value. Because our lives are fleeting we appreciate them to a greater degree, or at least we should. Now, this inevitable end we all share need be respected, for it is all encompassing. While it may be intimidating it is the ultimate end we will all succumb to. Death is universally humbling and for that reason it is beautiful, even if it be a tragic beauty. Much like our metaphorical wave, death is daunting. As you struggle under the wave it is easy to succumb to that water in your lungs. But if you take a moment to stifle that panic, you can find comfort in the realization that while life is fleeting, in this moment, you are very much alive.
