It’s Time For Us To Finally Admit That We Don’t Hate Abuse, Just Its Victims

We don’t have a problem with people being victimized as much as we have a problem with having to empathize and support victims; which leaves them even more victimized

photo by geralt by Pixabay

Let’s just be honest. We live in a patriarchal, sexist, racist, imperialist, and capitalist society. The very nature of this means we live in a society that is riddled with abuse. It exists everywhere — on a systemic level, on a cultural level, within our relationships. And yet, we still try to tell ourselves that abuse is a micro, not a macro issue.

Abuse doesn’t occur on an individual basis, but is, in fact, a team sport. Abuse requires whole systems to exist — down to the enablers and stander-bys who watch without interruption — which is why it is so prevalent. A huge part of the system that allows it to exist is not only our acceptance of it, but our adoration of and complicity in it. We tend to say that we hate abuse, but the sad truth is that we do not. What we hate are victims of abuse.

Abuse is ingrained in the very fabric of our society. Many of our “common sense” beliefs are in fact, abusive. Think about how much we ascribe honor to silence and shame to speaking up when it comes to abuse victims. We like to think we’re outraged by abuse, but the truth is, we’re never really outraged by the…