Merry Merry Christmas, 2022
I wrote this about a week before Christmas. I had just separated from my wife (and kids) after 5 months of turmoil in my household because Dad realized he was gay. I was recording music with friends and started writing. 5 minutes in I said I need some quiet, so I went to the ground floor and wrote. My friend lives in one of the more dangerous areas of Atlanta, East Point. The home of OutKast and other amazing artists. I lived there for a while as a child. I was the only white kid in my class. I love East Point.
I wrote this in about 20 minutes and then went upstairs and my friend IA said to step into the recording booth. (His small closet). And I read it.
Then afterward my friend Rodney Barber, American Idol Top 10 Finalist, said ‘who has the lyrics to Silent Night’. And it is his amazing voice you hear on this track.
Merry merry Christmas
to the ones that I love
safe and secure at home tonight
the home in my recent real view window sight
With its memories still warm and bright
fresh in my mind and heart and light
You always have been my true north
And I carry your memories within me
And I wish you the best Noel
warmed by the fire and your hearts
smiling and laughing with my
empty chair
And I would do anything to be there
except the one thing my soul cannot bear
for me to be inauthentically there
And I sit here with my sad wistful stare
in a bathroom under a stair
in a neighborhood most white people don’t dare
With my other family making magic from air
wishing I could unplug my care
As I long to be present under that tree
“Surprise! it was only a dream its ok…
I’m the same dad you’ve always had
But I hope I wasn’t that bad
Not like past my previous facade
And I hope my stocking was hung with care
Indicating that maybe you want me there
Unfortunately that man was never in that chair
His promises and dreams just air
With his 1000 yard stare
Not knowing that he was kind of queer
Wrapped up as a koala bear
But I have a new path that beckons me
An expansion of my true family
love and joy that I never knew before
Nothing lasts for ever anymore
I gave you the best I could muster
I wish it could have lasted two years longer
And so my little drummer girl
My female indie blend
My smart aleck sander much younger and better then me son
And the woman who is the love of me
And who rescued me more than I ever will know
As I head out into the silent night
Sure of our oh so future flight
Giving and sharing our inner light
Because real and honest is always right
Know that on this Christmas Day
And for every other single day
I love you more than myself
And I’m sorry I won’t be home for Christmas
But I am in my dreams
Merry Christmas to my family
Merry Christmas to yours
Merry Christmas to the ones that used to be
And still have the chance to be
Because no matter what you believe
Christmas is really about salvation
Swaddled in that manger of roots
that cradled and created you
So wherever your home is you are
Even if your spirit is there from afar
Just remember merry Christmas too
Merry Christmas from my heart to you
And hannukah. kwanzaa. festivus. solstice. What ever tradition you have. Merry Christmas from me in the true spirit of the words.
Added 2023–11–30, Soundcloud
