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COMMITMENT IS NO JOKE!
If you don’t take commitment seriously you need to. Commitment is an agreement where expectations, reciprocity, respect and accountability are paramount.
A lot of you get into commitment hopeful to grow something lasting, while some of you get into relationships for all the wrong reasons.
It’s hard to know what your intentions are unless you get real and ask yourself some honest questions.
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Here are 8 questions you need to answer before you commit in a romantic relationship:
1). AM I IN A RUSH?
(As in do I feel anxious, like if we don’t commit I might lose this person or not get what I want?)
2). DO WE HAVE THE SAME CORE VALUES?
(Core values are: fundamental beliefs, highest priorities, ideas about money and spending, fundamental driving forces. Do you ultimately want the same things from life? Can you grow together?)
3). IS HE/SHE POSSESSIVE, CONTROLLING, OR JEALOUS?
(Does he/she have deep insecurities that stiffle you or hold you back in some way? Do you always feel like you are having to prove yourself, or that no matter what you do it’s never enough? Does he/she not want you to connect with people of the opposite sex as friends? Does he/she care more about what they want from you and for you, rather than what you want for you?)
4). DO I WANT HER/HIM TO MEET MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS?
(Are you proud to be with this person? Can they hang out with your close friends and enhance the environment or is it awkward? Are you excited to take he/she home to meet the folks?)
5). CAN I BE 100% YOURSELF IN THE DYNAMIC?
(Are you hiding any aspects of yourself from her/him? Are you connected in your heart but not your mind, or is the sex really good but you can’t fathom how you’d be in a long term relationship? Are there aspects that work and you’re happy in those aspects while making excuses for the things that aren’t there?)
6). DOES HE/SHE SHOW UP FOR ME AND CARE FOR MY NEEDS?
(Are you a priority? Can you talk to her/him? Does he/she hear you, receive you, care about what you are feeling and help you during crisis?)
7). DOES HE/SHE WANT TO GIVE TO ME FREELY?
(Do you feel like you are putting out more than you are receiving? Does he/she put energy into you? Are you touched and invested in emotionally? Is there reciprocity and thoughtfulness going both directions or is it one sided?)
8). IS HE/SHE AS SEXUAL AS ME?
(Are you getting your sexual needs met? Do you find yourself needing more? Is the sex and frequency of sex good enough to make you want to commit? Can you express your deepest sexual needs and pleasure with her/him?)
Commitment is a BIG DEAL and you shouldn’t enter it lightly.
This is your LIFE. The agreements you make require a ton of energy, so are you putting your energy where it is facilitating your highest good? Or do you constantly find relationships that drain the shit out of you?
Don’t commit unless it’s really worth it to you.
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If it is not a complete YES don’t commit. Be honest. Spend time if you won’t to, but don’t enter into a binding agreement if you want all the benefits of a person without the responsibility or you don’t ultimately see it bringing out the best in you.
In my opinion, you should date someone for 6 months before you commit.
There is no rush, and if there is proceed with both EYES OPEN.
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