#Love, Curiosity, and Amusement: A Mindset To Thrive During The Next 4 Years
Moving through this week has not been easy time for some people. It wasn’t surprising when one of my clients showed up and asked: “I want to know… How are you dealing with all of this?”
I let flashes from the past few days float through my mind. The barrage of shared Facebook posts covering a rapid fire of undesirable decisions being made by the new President of the United States had caught me off guard. We didn’t expect anything praiseworthy, but I don’t think anyone expected him to move like this.
My emotions seemed to change with each news story, and for a moment I almost slipped into worry and fear. A sense of doom tried to sneak up. Everything looked like it was turning on its head. My sense of security and detachment from the story playing out on the stage started to slip, and things started to seem as bad as people were making it out to be.
But I stopped. I know better. And fear is what brought him here in the first place.
“It’s really the same as with everything else [in the coaching program]”, I tell her.
And at this point I want to share something I talk about with all of my clients:
Event + Response = Outcome
In this equation, you are always in control of the “Response”, and because the outcome is dependent on the response, you are in control of the outcome.
You see, the truth is, no one outside of ourselves is able to determine our quality of life. Our lives are a result of what we’ve created for ourselves through our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. And many of the thoughts we have, beliefs we hold, and actions we take are a response to a particular event.
For example, with the birth control issue, I mentioned to her: “It doesn’t matter what they do with birth control. You know that you are in charge of your life, that your thoughts and beliefs create your reality. And if you believe that the Universe is abundant, and it will always provide you with what you need, then if insurance stops covering birth control, you’ll all of a sudden find yourself making that much extra money, or getting a full-on raise, or your insurance provider will be one that keeps it included with your plan because its something they stand behind.”
If you fall into “oh no, now I won’t have access to birth control”, or “I won’t be able to afford birth control”, then that’s what you’ll create for yourself.
What you focus on, the thoughts you think, and the actions you take are all creating your life right now. So tell me, what kind of response will get you the outcome you want?
“The way everything is happening and the way it’s being shared doesn’t help,” I tell her. I then dramatize the tone of the reports, “Everything is f*%$ed!”
“Most of what I’m seeing shared and reported is being shared and reported by those who are against it, but they aren’t helping themselves or anyone else with their response. This response of doom and gloom and the ‘republicans are ruining everything’ and ‘America is gonna die’ and all that nonsense is not going to help anyone. We must keep focused on what we want.”
Then I start getting images of a scene explaining some of it.
“All of this nonsense, it’s really smoke and mirrors. No one has control over your life except you, and the moment you start to believe that their decisions are what will determine your quality of life, you disempower yourself. You pass up on the opportunity to make a difference in your own life, to create the life you want.”
“You can think of it this way. You’re standing on one side of a street, and across that street is a bar. That bar is where everyone is headed. Inside, people are having a good time, they look fancy, they’re excited, socializing, there’s wonderful music. It’s classy and cool and easy going, there’s an air of abundance. Outside, in the middle of that street you’re on, is a brawl, and the brawl is about getting into the bar. You can do one of two things: You can walk into the bar, or you can join the brawl.”
You see, the brawl is just a distraction. Don’t buy in.
I can tell by the look on her face that my client is resonating with what I’m telling her. Then she asks, “but then what do I do to take action?”
“You treat people with kindness every day. Act with love. Again it really starts with the individual. If you want racial equality, treat people as equals. If you want women’s right, treat women as though they have rights.
Smile at the little kid staring at you in line at the grocery store. Wave hello to your neighbor. Offer to help someone when you see they need it. Tell someone you appreciate them.
“The only time you ever need to do anything more is when you must say ‘no’.”
Like Standing Rock. Treat people with love and kindness at every turn, and if you turn to see an oil company putting something dangerous in your water, you stand up and in their way and you say “No”.
Lovingly, you say no.
You can’t think about it as us vs. them — that’s ego, its not real, and treating it that way is not going to breed the results of love and kindness.
You can think of these people as a toddler, kicking and screaming, and as the adult in the situation we mustn’t argue with the toddler but continue forward and let the toddler tire him/herself out. And you love that toddler the whole time.
We must respond with love.
And so for the mindset, I shared:
“I just sit back and observe, with a sense of curiosity and amusement. I know that amazing things are coming. I know that immense good is coming this way. I know that no matter what is happening now, somehow it’s all going to play into something great. So the more ridiculous it gets, the more interesting the transition is going to be.”
This is a last ditch effort by those who want to be in control, to be in control. But it’s too late. So when I see these things come up, the news stories and his crazy decisions, I just think to myself, “Huh, I wonder how this will play out.” And I watch with a sense of curiosity and amusement. Because when you have your mindset right, and you’re glowing with the flow of life, things seem to happen in a magical way. The synchronicities, “coincidences”, and “miracles”. As if there is some magical force at play (there is, it’s called Love.) And if you sit back and watch, if you don’t get into the brawl outside the bar, if you watch with a sense of ease, curiosity, and amusement, you will witness a certain magic unfold before you and throughout this occurrence, throughout these 4 years. People will come through when needed, unexpected heroes will emerge, and love will prevail. It already has.
So remember, keep your spirits high, your thoughts positive, and let the toddler tire out.
PS Last year, articles and news about him took up about 50% of the most shared media online. Wonder why he won? That’s where everyone’s focus was. So I have a challenge for you — avoid saying his name as much as you can over the next four years. And unless something is really important to share, don’t spread news about him. Don’t follow him on twitter, don’t bother with the comments he makes. Unless its got something to do with laws and the American people, don’t give him the time of day (and if you can find a way to share and talk about it without using his name, do that.)
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Originally published at kevinoberhausen.com.