How to be successful with your dating on Sexy.com

Most men think that online dating sucks because their rate of success on dating sites is often very low. Instead of questioning their own approach, they blame the site for their failure. Yet, they fail to realize that dating sites are basically tools and that if one doesn’t know how to adequately use a tool, one will never manage to accomplish much with it, however good that tool is.

So, here are some tips to help you improve your rate of success, mainly on a site such as Sexy.com which is not dedicated to finding romance, but designed to efficiently help liberated people of both sexes in their search for casual dates and no-string-attached sexual relationships.

Successful online dating requires basically three things:

  1. First, catching a woman’s attention to make her aware that you exist and curious of finding more about you. This is done through a good profile.
  2. Second, establishing the first contact in a manner that will reassure the girl and make her wish to go further.
  3. Third, being realistic with one’ aspiration. So, let’s now see how those three things could tremendously increase your chances of scoring on a dating site.

1- Spiffing-up your profile

Your profile is your advertising page and product description, if you botch that, what kind of image do you think you convey? No worthy woman will waste time getting better acquainted with a guy who doesn’t bother to at least try presenting himself properly. It doesn’t mean you need to write an autobiography, on the contrary, keep your items short, but make sure you present all the relevant ones. They are your selling arguments, take time to think them over and find a sharp humorous way of presenting them in a few words.

What do you think are the features and characteristics that could make you look like an attractive date in the eyes of a woman you want to attract? Identify them clearly and organize them in an appealing portrait of yourself. Don’t be phony, an intelligent girl will detect it right away when you meet her and she’ll run away from you. Be objective and put the emphasis on your strong points, but avoid the bragging style. Even being a little humorously self-deprecating can earn you brownie points if its artfully done.

Through this presentation of yourself, mention your interests and show that you can be articulated as well as funny. Sure, a nice photo helps, but unless you really have outstanding looks it won’t be enough to induce much solicited women to select you among a vast number of suitors. So, really put your best effort in writing that profile of yours, that’s what makes the other steps possible.

2- Making the first contact and following-up on it

There are two manners in which the first contact happens in online dating. The most favorable for you is when she’s the one to contact you by sending a message, and that means you’ve done very well in spiffing-up your profile. You’re on to a head start and just have to be careful not to stumble during the follow-up.

However, most often, you’re the one who’s been attracted by her profile and you’re the one sending the first message. In this case, re-read her profile very carefully beforehand and try to catch the detail that will give you a hint on the best angle of approach with her. In all cases, don’t be pushy and adopt a light complimentary tone to tell her what in her profile made you want to establish contact.

For your own good, don’t start with something like “Hey gorgeous” and avoid lecherously mentioning her superb pair of tits or other physical assets unless she, herself, puts a lot of emphasis on them in her profile. Think of the other main characteristic that made you select her in particular and find a nice way of saying how it made you think that you could get along well.

In all cases remember that if men want things to happen fast, women first want to feel comfortable and reassured. After all, there are a lot of creeps out there and its logical that, even if they are of an adventurous nature, they are also wary of falling on one of them. Be sure that if your message awakens an interest in her she’ll go check your profile, so, hopefully, you’ve followed the advice on point #1.

Don’t push for the first date, say that you want her to be at ease with you and are willing to wait till she is. Take the time to exchange a few messages, propose her to call you on the phone or to communicate through Skype. Don’t make her feel stalked and tell her that whenever she’s ready to meet you’re willing to go to any venue of her choosing. Even horny women need to feel safe before going to bed with a stranger, so gentlemanly show that you’re ready to abide by whatever is necessary for her to feel so.

3- Being realistic in your aspiration

On any dating site, there are more men than women and, among them, there are a lot more regular gals than beauty queens and sexy models. Be aware that any outstanding female will be receiving tons of messages and that if you focus only on those, you’ll be facing very stiff competition. Be also objective about yourself, if you are an average-looking normal guy, you’ll have more chance of success with average-looking normal women than with bombshells.

Sure, if you can be very charming, amusing and intriguing, you may have your chances with bombshells, but remember that you probably are hundreds of guys trying to attract their attention and that, among these hundreds, there are probably many who are also very charming, amusing and intriguing. So, if you don’t want to spend to many evenings alone hunting for that elusive sex goddess, you better not put all your eggs in that basket.

Actually, there are lots of ordinary women who are also very attractive and fun to be with and they might be not quite as picky as those alluring models you’re dreaming of. If you really want to find a match, it’s much more realistic to look among equals than to aim for the unreachable. If you’re an older man, realize that dates with women 30 years younger than you belong more to the realm of fantasy than they happen in reality. Go for the rule and not for the exception because that’s exactly why they’re called exceptions, they happen only very rarely.

Besides, ordinary-looking girls often compensate their lack of outstanding beauty by being a lot better in the sack than these haughty beauties who think that they are making any man a favor when they go out with him. Evaluate yourself objectively, follow the advice in point #1 and #2, go for the women who are realistically within your reach and you’ll see that, indeed, online dating can be very rewarding when one proceeds properly.

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Originally published at blog.sexy.com.

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