What It Means to Be Fearless

Almost two years ago, I made a pact with myself and it has changed my life way more than I thought possible. I've wanted to write about it for some time, but the words have never come out quite right. Still, I keep getting reminded by people I meet and conversations I have that it’s something I need to share. Here’s the pact I made back in 2013: “This year I will care, connect, and love without fear of being hurt.” And that pact led me to form the first part of my life motto, which is “Be Fearless”.

To me, being fearless means that you don’t let your fear of what may happen in the future paralyze you today. Fear is a terrible form of disablement that will lock you in a prison and throw away the key. Our fear, not our circumstances, is our most frequent deterrent from the life we want. To really live, love, and be true to ourselves, we have to move past our fears. We have to tell ourselves to try things even though we are afraid. Fear will lead you down the wrong path every time and I've realized that I don’t want to look back on my life and see a series of decisions that were made based on my fear of what would happen. I want to make decisions and live my life based on hopes, dreams, and desires, not fear of loss, the unknown, failing, or the judgment of others.

You can let fear define you, your relationships, and your life, or you can choose to let it go. I guess I realized back in 2013 that I had spent the last several years of my life making fear based decisions and I hated where it had led me. So, I started making decisions without letting my anxieties become a significant factor. Here’s a few of the important things that I’ve learned since then.

1. When you jump off a proverbial cliff, the universe will catch you most of the time.
2. The answer to “What’s the worst case scenario?” is often way less scary and terrible than I imagined it would be.
3. The answer to “What will be the consequences if I DON’T do this because I’m scared?” is often something I’m not ok with.
4. Anytime you care for, connect with, or love another person; there will eventually be pain involved — but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.
5. We often pass our days thinking that things will never end and this can lead to us taking the moments we have with people we love for granted.
6. Cherishing the moments you do have with someone, no matter how many there may be, is worth it.
7. It can be easy to stop connecting with others because we are afraid of loss and of being hurt.
8. But that’s no way to live.
9. There will always be another chance to care, connect and love.
10. It’s not the end of the world if you make a mistake, but you’ll regret it if you don’t do things out of fear.

So, that’s what it means to be fearless. It doesn’t mean being stupid, but it does mean taking chances. And I’ve found that the real world is often less scary and more forgiving than we’ve made it out to be in our minds.

So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

~ Mark Twain