15 embarrassing things that happened in 2015
The gift that keeps on giving.
- Trying to convince the doctor that I was a virgin, when he was convinced I was pregnant. Cue two scarlet faces.
“Impossible doc, unless its the Immaculate Conception, round two.”
- Asking a girl brightly how her boyfriend was. “We broke up. 3 months ago”
- Buying Christmas themed knickers and bras in Primark and getting a male cashier.
- MCing an event with 150 people whilst running a fever. Forgetting all the announcements and being unable to remember what exactly I’d said after, except I’m sure there was something about swords and books.
- Making (what I thought) was an articulate, well reasoned argument in a tutorial only to be shot down by my tutor. “No. Definitely not.”
- Calling two of my work colleagues (who are also brothers) by the wrong names all day and no one corrected me. Poor souls.
- Anything I said or texted whilst on morphine. Highlights include:
Asking my mother why we’d never talked about the moon.
Blabbering with enthusiasm to all the nurses about the horse I had seen gallop along the corridor.
Telling someone I thought they were a sunflower and that they had a REAAALLY pretty surname.
Giggling uncontrollably when the super serious surgeon prodded my stomach.
- My dress blowing up in the wind as I’m getting money out. Turning around only to awkwardly bump into an acquaintance from church.
- Causing the doctor in A&E to break into peals of laughter when she saw my Little Mermaid underwear. “You’ve made my day!” Thanks.
- My poems accidentally getting sent out to my poetry class with my name still on them. (It was meant to be anonymous.) Everyone knew then I’d a real thing for butterflies.
- Becoming nervous in a job interview and admitting I’m extremely prone to clumsiness. An interview for a job making hot drinks. (But hey! Somehow I still got the job!)
- The pitying glances anytime I’ve eaten alone in Boojum. Worth it. Oh so worth it.
- Tripping and falling over on Botanic Avenue because of my undone shoe laces, smacking my head off the pavement, hoping no one has seen, when two old men sitting outside the train station yell across the street. “ARE YOU ALRIGHT LOVE?? AWK WOULD SOMEONE NOT HELP THE POOR GIRL??”
In fairness to them, they were very sweet. :)
- Getting propositioned, loudly, by a drunk 40 year old on the train.
- Banging into a table and knocking over sugar and salt shakers, condiments and a jug of milk in front of a boy I thought was cute. Not realising that I had until milk started dripping down my leg.
LOL. Cos when you’re an awkward duckling, these things happen.