A Promise, Not a Demand

Again, I wrote this a couple months ago. I’ve been kinda dumping stuff I wrote other places on here. And, I can super relate right now:

I always thought “trust me” was a demand. That I had to continuously pour myself empty in order to trust God. That He was waiting for me to break myself so that He could sweep in and save the day. That I was destined for a life that was raw and uncomfortable and I just had to “trust him.” 
I’m learning, now, that it’s a promise. Life is going to break me. Things out of my control are going to pull me under. Heartache will find me. I don’t have to force myself into those places. They come and go as they please. And, when they do, He’ll be there. He is the trustworthy good refuge that I need. 
He tells us to trust Him because He is trustworthy. Not because we have to. 
If I could just get that. 
He speaks because He is. Not because I have to.
Entangle these twisted thoughts in me, O LORD. 
Make them right. 
I can no longer breathe in the air I’ve been sucking.

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