This piece is very beautifully written. I couldn’t put it down.
Do you regret where you are now? I can imagine the ache of loss still lingers. I would re-title this, “Selfishness Will be the Death of Us.” Marriage requires so much unselfishness to allow it to thrive and even survive. I’m not putting you down; our culture encourages what you did. However, I want to make a case for a traditional marriage that “forsakes all others” for the purpose of building something uniquely strong and special. It doesn’t mean you might be attracted to others at times (most men and women are) but you choose to prefer your spouse, whether they deserve it or not. Sometimes it doesn’t feel good or look pretty, which my own experience confirms. But God gave us marriage for our good and the exclusiveness is a loving prescription from a loving and wise Father. One day when I sit beside my husband to see one of our children marry, I will experience that joy that comes from persevering and loving an imperfect person and see the ripple effects of that. We have already sat beside one another as we buried a much-loved 14 year old son. We didn’t experience joy that day but deep communion as we shared an incomprehensible loss. Life is hard sometimes. God bless you, Ian. May you come to know His love for you more deeply every day.