You’ve described the feelings well. Our hearts are so invested that when they break, we feel like we can’t go on — even in later years. I’m so grateful that you didn’t go follow through with your initial impulses (when you were “super young”). I am inclined to comment on each reaction to your heartbreaks, but I’ll leave someone else space. Thank you for the vulnerable account of what it’s really like (at each age) to have your heart-broken. Cathartic article!