I’ve been reflecting a lot about judgements recently.
Tonight I was at Kokkari having dinner at the bar. There was a tall woman to my left drinking a martini. She had long blondish hair with streaks of grey and I noticed the pronounced veins on her hands as she held the glass.
What I really wanted to write was this inconsiderate bitch was leaning on the bar practically hanging her hair in my dinner plate. What on earth is so fucking interesting that she needs to be so loud and animated. No you cannot hang your jacket on the back of my chair. Have you lost your mind?
As my mind raced with distraction I asked myself what was causing my judgement. I usually find judgement occurs when
1) We see something we don’t like about ourselves in someone else
2) We are confronted that someone has freedom in a place we don’t
3) We are not asking for what we want
In this moment I realized, “Oh I hate her because I don’t want to ask her to stop leaning into me.” I don’t want to appear rude or I don’t want to deal with her response. So I sit there and hate her instead of just asking.
And then I ask. I touched her back gently and she turned around and said “Oh I’m so sorry, let me go to the other side.” I didn't have to say a word. And I stopped hating her. Just like that.