The Things I Learned In 2015
At the end of 2014 my relationship ended with my fiancé who was also my startup’s lead engineer. So much of my life was attached to this relationship that even though it was torture I tried so hard to hold on, put the pieces back together and have hope. I waited a month before I announced it to Facebook because I was petrified of telling my investors. While the relationship itself was done, the work relationship dragged on way too long and killed most of the momentum we had. I was so scared to let go that I almost killed the company in the process. Looking back I wish I had cut him out like a tumor in one swoop.
As soon as I came to terms with the fact my relationship was over and I did the work to see how I contributed to it and any pain I suffered a new man was ushered into my life. This new relationship is beyond what I could have wished for or wanted for myself. Truly. Everything about him and it is beyond what I could have dreamed was possible. I would have continued to try to “make things work” with my ex never realizing how effortless love could feel. We got engaged on December 13.
Don’t Make Big Decisions When You Are Down
When life feels shitty we flail to make it feel better and that can color our decisions. I’ve made it a practice this year to not decide big things when I feel sad or hopeless. No good can come from that. The decision would come from desperation and scarcity which never creates anything worthwhile.
Being Present Is All That Matters
To the degree which I can stay in the moment, there are no problems and all is as it should be. Enjoying the moment, feeling all of my senses, connecting with the people in front of me. That is really all that matters in life. Period.
The pursuit of chasing wealth is not very gratifying and I have learned this multiple times yet somehow I always think it will be different. Don’t do things for the outcome, do it for the journey, the experience and the things you learn along the way.
Our life is simply a string of experiences and it is shorter than we imagine.
When I think back on my life I have lived it is not possessions that I remember, it’s experiences.
The World Is A Mirror Of My Internal State
This really hit home for me this year and I have learned the magic of how to change the world around me by adjusting myself internally. It’s such a powerful tool and I am so grateful I have begun to understand how to use it.
My Heart Is More Powerful Than My Sword
True vulnerability and love trump everything. Everything. I really wish I had gotten that lesson earlier in life because I spent so many years with battle armor on and I led with tank like force. It was heavy and required so much effort. This year I learned true power comes when you remove all the armor and are simply naked in raw truth.