Hey FutureMe

Dear FutureMe,

Right now, you feel vulnerable as fuck. The negative voices in your head are trying to bring you down, make you feel like you’re not worth it.

They’re telling you to not eat that cookie or to cower in shame at the shape and size of your body.

This year, the year 2016, you vowed to finally learn to love your body and to appreciate yourself instead of beating yourself down.

Some days you will overeat and some days you will eat less.

It’s okay. Life will continue.

I hope by the time 2017 rolls around, I will worry less about the food I’m eating and devote more time to create moments with the people who make me happy.

I hope I will graduate high school with no regrets.

I will stop searching up the menus of restaurants to make sure there are healthy options. I will make sure to stop thinking about food, and when to eat.

I will eat when I’m hungry, not when I’m sad/bored/angry/moody/dejected. I will eat to nourish myself so I could spend time with the people I love and do the things I love.

I hope by the time you read this message, you have taken that step in loving yourself wholeheartedly, through all the overeating and bad hair days.

I’ll tell you this, the battle right now is pretty grim. Ever since the new year rolled by, the goal of self-love has been waning.

I have those moments when I think, “why even try?”

Those days when everything seems hopeless, and I want to succumb to the fate of oblivion. But I must fight against the current. I will not let the looming waves drown me.

I will swim through the waves and come out victorious through the other side.

And then I think: I’m doing this for YOU, the future ME.

I want you to be able to enjoy life and worry less about the food on your plate. 
I want you to stop obsessing around the clock about food. 
I want you to sober the fuck up and don’t lash out your anger on the people around you. 
I want you to grow up and stop moping around. 
I want you to achieve your fucking goals and screw the haters.

Let go of those fake friends. Stop being that fake friend.

Learn to be less selfish. Be a little selfish sometimes.

Don’t worry about what others think. 
Find someone to love, experience heartbreak, and cry about it.

I don’t understand what direction I’m going in life right now, but I know it’s gonna be okay.

Don’t forget that you’re an amazingly, fantastic, crazy-ass, mofo with great potential. You are that dirty-ass diamond hidden among the rocks, ready to be shine through the ugly circumstances struggles.

Lastly, you’re beautiful, inside and out.

If you don’t feel beautiful inside, do something about it.

Change it. Change the ugliness inside of you, get rid of those negative thoughts.

If all else fails, your sass and sarcasm will get you through life. You will kick ass!

Sincerely,

You a year ago (February 2016)