The Worst Job in America

White House Press Secretary

Since November 8, 2016 I have been obsessed with the news. I read alerts on my phone, I scan my Facebook feed for updates, I search Twitter to see what my pretty accurate conspiracy theorists are sharing and in the evenings, I watch the news. But through all the discussions between reporters and pundits, scholars and legal analysts, I’m obsessed with the White House press briefings. As I watch in horror during those mind numbing events, I have come to the conclusion that a few choice individuals in the Trump administration have discovered what it’s like to have the worst job in America….White House Press Secretary.

Trust me when I tell you that I know what it’s like to have crazy bosses and toxic clients with unreasonable demands who still wanted you to go out there and spin a story through their eyes. What I have learned throughout my career is that if you don’t believe or trust the person you are representing, then no matter what you do, you will be set up for failure and end up being the one who looks like a total idiot.

Cue Sean Spicer. Before he assumed the role of White House Press Secretary, Sean was a pretty likeable guy. I mean who couldn’t like someone who wore the Easter Bunny costume during the annual Easter Egg Roll at the White House? How bad could he honestly be? I have to say, out of this entire car accident of a presidency, I still believe Spicey really is a good guy. He’s doing his best to spin the plates he’s been given knowing full well he’s being lied to and probably getting an ulcer as he battles a barrage of questions from reporters who are perplexed and bewildered by the decisions being made at the top. Poor Sean fumfers his way through his press briefings and this week, he was cast aside after hiding out near the shrubbery after his boss fired the FBI director and Sean demanded reporters turn off their cameras while he was speaking to them. Personally, I think Spicey has had enough and if Trump decides to can him, he will probably be incredibly relieved and will be taking a vacation on a beach somewhere in the caribbean.

Next victim on the hot seat — Sarah Huckabee Sanders. From the moment I started watching Sarah I realized while she’s a tad more relatable than Spicer, she’s not ready for primetime either. When she claimed she heard from several people within the FBI they were happy with Comey’s firing and the reporters asked her to backup her claims, she stumbled with her response since she more than likely heard from her dad and a few FBI retirees who were hanging out poolside laughing about those conspiracy theorist Democrats. Who knows, maybe she did get some texts from people at the FBI but frankly, I don’t believe it. One of my husband’s good friends from college works for the FBI and he doesn’t share anything about what he’s doing ever. Another relative worked for the FBI as a secretary (or that’s what she told us) and is since retired and she too is a vault. Something tells me that Sarah is not being completely honest and that’s just bad form. If you know you are lying, you cannot change your story midstream and expect people to believe you.

I know it’s easy to sit here like a Monday morning quarterback critiquing how badly the press representatives for the White House are fumbling the ball at every turn, but here’s the thing. Any great publicist would never ever get themselves mixed up with this devious crew. Honestly, who in their right mind wants to have a knot in their stomach every day of the week? Just yesterday I saw a photo of Spicer wearing what looked to be a boot of some sort — did he injure his foot after kicking in a wall? You never know but if I were in his shoes, I probably would kick something too.

What I do know for sure (thank you Oprah) is that any sane individual who is a seasoned PR professional would never want to trade places with Spicer or Huckabee-Sanders and if they did, they’d probably quit after the first day on the hot seat. Hopefully, once this is all over, I’m sure they will finally be able to come clean and share how they were really feeling after their boss blatantly lied to them and then fed them to the wolves day after day after day. After spending half my life as a publicist, I really hope Sarah and Spicey take my advice: Life is too short to be made the fool.