New Year, Same Me. How I created a yearly resolution process that gives me a sense of growth and accomplishment.
In 2016 I changed my approach to setting New Year’s Resolutions from one that focused on checking off goals, to one that focused on what I’d really like to get out of life, both big and small. I want to share what I do, why I made this change, and how it’s helped me build continuity, purpose, and meaning over the last 6 years.
Where I started with New Year’s Resolutions
Friends have used words to describe me such as ‘intentional,’ ‘thoughtful,’ and ‘goal-driven.’ It will be no surprise to any reading this that I’m writing a post about goals. In the years from 2009–2015, I used Facebook and my various blogs to showcase my New Year’s Resolutions.
In short, I was a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I was decently successful at achieving them, all except for the one about running a half-marathon, which I still haven’t managed.
But in 2016 it was time for a change.
After 6+ years of setting resolutions, I found I could no longer drum up the enthusiasm to check more activities off a list. Setting resolutions felt like work. A task. A boring to-do list. Sure, it was sort of fun to put together some ideas in the days leading up to December 31st, but by January 10th it looked like what it was — a 15-item checklist that I could fit in between my other adulting tasks. “Read 50 books this year” slotted in between “make lunch for work” and “grocery shop.” Ugh.
I considered making fewer goals, or making bigger, more audacious goals, setting themed goals or ‘challenge’ type goals, setting learning goals, or performance goals. I considered goal-setting theory and whether to make my goals SMART-er.
But, each of these possible solutions felt inadequate. I even, very briefly, considered no goals at all.
Through my reflection process and asking “Why am I even setting these resolutions” and “What am I really trying to get out of this?” I drilled down to the ground my reason for why I wanted to continue to set goals. I wanted to feel a sense of growth, renewal, and change.
It turned out that for me, achieving the goal outcomes wasn’t really why I set these goals.
After realizing I wasn’t facing a quantitative problem, I felt as though I had opened a new door, and was ready to explore other possibilities.
The Solution
I wanted to feel a sense of growth, and I also wanted this approach to be meaningful. I was searching for a way to tie all this together into who I was.
It was by happenstance that I remembered a simple life-coaching activity that I’d done in the past — The wheel of life.
In this very common life-coaching activity, you identify the roles and parts of your identity that are important to you. It’s a helpful recognition that each of us is multifaceted, and more than say “a mother” “an HR professional” “a daughter” “a New Englander.”
If you are not familiar with this activity, I recommend taking a minute to read a description here.
My wheel has 8 slices that represent a combination of different parts of my identity and my roles.
- Family and Home
- Friend and Community
- Career
- Intellectual/ Creativity
- Health
- Finance
- Spirituality & Emotional health
- Travel & Adventure
I considered the question “What would my vision of the good life look and feel like for this area?’’
I wrote down my answers.
Since 2016, these answers have shifted as I’ve grown and discovered and experienced more. I love that.
Under each column, as I start the year, I jot down some experiences and activities I could do that would contribute to achieving this vision.
Maintenance and upkeep
In 2022, I have now been using this approach for six years.
After I stopped asking the question “Did I accomplish my New Year’s Resolutions this year?” and instead started asking “Did I live a life that is worthy of my finite humanity, where I devoted the effort, time, and attention to doing what really matters to me to become the truest version of myself?” I found I was able to once again enjoy the process of selecting ways to track and manage the many and disparate activities I love and sure, even rejoice when I exceeded previous benchmarks.
This approach has…
…removed me from an anxiety treadmill — “What if I fall short of this resolution?”
…removed an all-or-nothing mindset, going from “Did I achieve this or not?” to “to what extent did I achieve this?”
…removed the ‘hustle’ mindset, “I have to be working all the time and I’m only valuable if I accomplish things and I’m busy.”
…given me peace “I’m focusing on what’s really valuable and meaningful to me”
…given me a sense of fun, as in — “I read a book! I’m a person that reads books and learns.”
…given me a way to simply enjoy what I enjoy.
My approach to tracking
We live in the age of being able to track nearly anything. Some people might say that if you don’t track it, it doesn’t count. It’s very easy to get metrics and data about any of our life.
Personally, I like tracking my activities and achievements, but this isn’t the main focus, and I’ve settled at level of detail that I desire.
What works for me is to have my google spreadsheet called “Yearly goals.” I suppose it’s not so much a ‘circle’ as it is a ‘chart.’ (see above screen shot).
In each column there are 3–4 rows each that have a combination of ‘pinnacle’ experiences I’m targeting for the year, or perhaps the type of experience I want to repeat over and over all year.
For the pinnacle experiences, I think about the question — “If I only do one thing in this area this year, what do I want to remember?” this question really gets to the ultimate question — “where do I want to spend the finite time I have on this planet?”
I love tracking some of my regular habits and activities over time and use the apps Mint.com (finances), Goodreads (books), and Fitbit (health metrics). I don’t pull them into this spreadsheet.
Over the course of the year, I reflect on memorable occasions like my birthday (April) , the start of summer (June) , Rosh Hashanah (where I like to participate in the annual 10Q activity) (Sept/Oct), and the year-end, using the “Year Compass” to review my whole year.
Throughout the year, in my spreadsheet, I might jot down a few lines to mark something new, or memorable that I think exemplifies what I’ve been doing in that category.
Each year, I add a new tab and start again, growing and changing.
New Year, Same Me.
Or is it?
