A little Trump inside of me.
Is he in you?
I’ve moved to the US about 2 years ago, and it’s my first time following elections. Yes, Obama was all over my social feed back then, but living here is breathing the process… a different type of feed. Here, as being a Brazilian, you are part of something called “Latino,” which for me used to be just a corny musician.
You are also part of something called “Minority,” which I used to recall my friends making fun of my 5'6 height. In Brazil, my height was my nickname and personality, over here is offensive or even racism, as like height is a race. Actually, people get more offended than me when I say that.
But I’m not writing to talk about a resilient Brazilian that came to America to make a living. My process was actually easier than many. I had huge support from family and professionals along the way, maybe much more than Europeans and even Americans. I’ve met many white-Americans lacking opportunities that were given to me, even born in the south of Brazil. The “Minority” in NYC sometimes is the white born and raised in the country that is lacking a global perspective… they also need some help.
But I’m writing to talk about Trump, in the way I’m talking to myself, and my monolog is how I caught a little Trump inside of me.
Trump has brought the conversation about diversity at its edge. We’ve always been discussing this topic, but nobody was courageous or confident enough to tell truths, and his truth was publicly shocking. It made me hate him so much but, later, made me look into myself and thought of how many times I judged people because of race, religion or even size. How I’ve paid more attention to the native speaking with polished English than the immigrant using more words than they should, and not realizing that that’s the way we get to the point.
I figured out I was being racist with myself, building my own wall.
I don’t consider myself a bad person, I even describe me as a “people believer” because I want to find the good before the bad on everyone’s opinion. And I’ve met so many beautiful people along the way, like André, Lani and the Papel&Caneta’s amigos that gave me hope. But being good is not my judgment, but yours, we outsource our personality to the internet which makes us afraid to share, but let’s not think about this…
I need to confess, I’ve used words as “grab a pu**y” to talk with my friends about women, like Trump did. I recall to do it to make my friends laugh, using humor to be accepted and cared.
I figure out I was using others weakness to build my strength.
He needs to be blamed, but I want to blame myself first and think if I’ve weakened women to feel empowered, even unconscious. Not just that, but the Truth is that the world is sexist. We have been saying, acting and diminishing women for a long time to not finding scars or still open wounds. And when I say “we” I include men, women, trans… we are all sexist.
I’ve seen women also being sexist with women. I’m not talking just about “grabbing” things but listening, respecting, giving the fair opportunity, and that happens a lot in the corporate environment.
I truly believe the future is female. The amazing girl I have the luck to be married has a project called All Of Us, which has the mission to help immigrant women in NYC. And many times we debate, gender agnostic, both involuntarily sexist, finding a way to change together, to have a little less of Trump in ourselves.
Ok, you are probably enough of elections, debates and Trump conversations. We all want our feed to change — as Facebook won’t change their algorithm. But I’m proud of us to have spent this time together because this is an inner call, from you and me.
I’m not writing to call you hypocritical but to have a conversation to inspire thoughts. This is our conversation, a conversation about the real capital-T not being of Trump, but of our Truth. And the truth might be that, before judging Trump, we need to judge ourselves.
And think if we have a little Trump inside of us.
When we judge without thinking about it, when we steal and don’t give our team the right credit, when we find a way to skip the line, or get the better place on the packed subway, when suddenly end up with the bigger share, and it is too much work to divide equally, when we stop looking at our phone and look at the people by our side…
You might think this is not a fair comparison because Trump is a public figure, but if there’s one thing I will disagree in our conversation is that you don’t have a public responsibility. We are all responsible, from voting to acting, the change is for ourselves and everyone we directly impact and might impact others, believing in karma or not.
But this is not the way I want to end… with the cliché Latino, Minority or anybody else judging hypocrisy. I want to end looking and judging myself, right in the eyes of the little Trump inside me, and convincing that
I shouldn’t build a wall inside me or between us.
I’m glad you’ve got to the end and I hope you enjoyed our minutes together. If you believe more people should read this, hit some ❤ to recommend this post.