Your performance review for mat leave
The idea of not being in a job for 12 months of maternity leave made me really anxious. I mean, I’ve always had a job, albeit a part-time one. Washing up in a pub, serving in a cafe, working in a bookshop, doing admin in an insurance office, amanuensis for disabled students, behind the bar in an arts centre, running a clothes shop. None of this features on my LinkedIn page before my ‘proper’ career stuff is listed but at a guess, I’ve been working for 23 years.
Before we get into a (valid) debate about why it is it’s so common to seek out validation and self-esteem from the grindstone, you can see why maternity leave is daunting for some. Yes of course you know you’ll have a baby to look after, but what will you do with the rest of your time? *hollow laugh* And who will you see each day, if not your colleagues?
So if like me you look back on your maternity leave and wonder what on earth you did over the past 12 month, here’s your annual performance review. In summary, congratulations, you did brilliantly. We are promoting you to senior baby wrangler and you’ll be responsible for a toddler shortly.
Key achievements:
- Prepared life, home, partner, body for baby (only to have prepared for a different birth and a different baby from the one you actually got)
- Recovered physically from birth and fended off well-meaning but irritating comments about the state of your body basically being ruined for the foreseeable future. Oh and judgement over the ‘kind’ of birth you had
- Soaked up practically a PhD worth of information on baby health, development and ‘what is normal’. Most of which was learnt alone in the middle of the night, on your phone, while feeding / resettling your baby
- Established new relationships with family members which now accommodates your new role and baby. A baby brings change for everyone
- Discovered your own parenting style and establish boundaries. The saying ‘you do you’ is true, but requires experimentation, failure and discomfort before you understand what is and isn’t important
- Established new relationship with friends (old and new). Your baby is now a large focus for you and can limit your previous ways of maintaining and developing relationships. Your new boundaries and preferences may reveal incompatibilities or new depths of friendship
- Created a support network to manage / normalise new experiences via a range of channels (online, social media, meet ups, groups, 1:1). Can be tricky for more reserved or introverted personality types.
- Established new relationship with self emotionally and mentally. Caring for a baby forces you to adapt or completely rethink your old ways of self care and relaxation. What worked before may not now or ever be an option.
- Learned new skill such as changing a baby, feeding, breastfeeding in public, avoiding breast infections, healing nipple damage / latch issues.
- Developed advanced skills in multitasking, operating in low light levels, with little sleep or caffeine. These skills are constantly being honed and upgraded as your baby provides new ways to test your reflexes when learning to roll, crawl, reach etc
- Demonstrated incredible resilience by learning to be constantly vigilant and preparing the solution to the next challenge. All while not being in control of your rest or recharge periods.
- Balanced the competing emotions of anxiety over the long-term impact of your choices and your immediate needs to get through the day.
You’re amazing. We’re so lucky to have you. There isn’t any money for a raise but know that you’re appreciated and a trusted member of the team. Go you!

