It is fear

It is our light no tour darkness that most frightens us.

I hate those moments where my biggest fear intensifies, the fear to fail in the goals I have in life. I am afraid of failure. I’m just 21 years old, I’m on the plenitude of my youth, maybe that fear in this point of my existence is meaningless because I believe for sure that failure is an undeniable part of this called “live”. It is what makes us grow, learn and because people say: there’s no better teacher than mistakes.

But in this moment my “young-adult” mind has fear. I have already told that I’m 21 years old and perhaps worrying about failure makes no sense because I also have heard somewhere that 23 years old people don’t know what to do with their lives, and somehow it is a relief that I do, or at least I think I do.

I have dreams, I want to make this world a better place, I have the vision of the change I wish to accomplish and I believe I have time to trace a good plan… but what if I can’t? That’s what terrifies me. What if a can’t do something for the world, if I just will be an average scum?

Nobody hits as hard as life, not even Rocky. I’m afraid to fail in my goals.

But my motivations must be greater than that unfounded fear because I know what I have to do.

Failure is not an option because I will persist cause it’s necessary. It may be a little sickly the way I’m talking, but I feel it is an obligation for me to be like that. I owe it to my spirit.

“Be the change that you wish to see in this world” said Gandhi. The only thing I can do now is learn, learn, learn. Learn the things that will help me, and enjoy doing so. Enjoy. Make the stupid things, nonsenses that will bring me no good, just for the simple fact of doing them. Burn like yellow roman candles.

“I must no fear.

Fear is the mind killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when is has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain”

— Bene Geseerit Litany against fear