30 Days to Go: Turning 50! 50 GlowTips I’m sharing to Spread the Glow!
30 Days to go until I turn 50! So I’ve decided to share 50 GlowTips to Get Your Glow ON — one per day, in no particular order of importance and just as they come to me…
And here’s GlowTip 21: Don’t be afraid to set boundaries — and stick to them!
Even if we’re not always aware of them — we all know what our boundaries are. Because when someone’s trampling over them — we get a very uncomfortable feeling, that let’s us know that this is NOT ok.
But a lot of the time we don’t have enough faith in ourselves to stick to our boundaries! We’ll tell ourselves it’s unacceptable, we discuss it with our friends and they agree it’s unacceptable, we become more and more resentful — and then we go off and accept it again!
For years I struggled with the dilemma of being kind and generous, and being walked over. I resented people who I knew were taking advantage of me — and yet I continued to let them, out of a mindset of fear and lack.
Clients who underpaid me and piled on more and more work. ‘Friends’ who continually asked for favours, but did nothing to help when I needed it. And family who expected me to show up for them, but weren’t really concerned in the least about my well-being, because they didn’t ever ask how I was — or take the time to listen. Not to mention people who would take all their anger out on me, because I was an easy target who didn’t fight back.
What I didn’t realise was that every time people were taking advantage of me — because I allowed it!
Because until we stand up for ourselves and say “Hey, enough is enough!” we’re not respecting our own boundaries. So how can we expect other people to respect them?
There’s a big difference between being kind and being a pushover. When you allow other people to trample over your boundaries, you are not being kind to yourself!
Standing up for ourselves is not always easy, especially when we feel we have something to lose. But the fact is — if people are abusing us, we have nothing to lose, and everything to gain by putting a stop to it!
It took me years to realise this. And I’m so glad I finally did! I put firm boundaries in place and started standing up for myself. I stopped allowing anyone to trample over me — personally and in business. I started showing UP for me, and taking care of myself. And it’s helped me enormously. Because I’m only showing UP for the Good Stuff!
The best part about sticking to your boundaries, is that because you’re not letting people into your life who don’t respect and care for you — you’re making room for the ones who do!
And when we say ‘No’ to the things we don’t want, and we honour what’s important to us — we show UP for our health and happiness and Get our Glow ON!