37 Days to Go: Turning 50! 50 GlowTips I’m sharing to Spread the Glow!
37 Days to go until I turn 50! So I’ve decided to share 50 GlowTips to Get Your Glow ON — one per day, in no particular order of importance and just as they come to me…
And here’s #GlowTip 14: Be Kind to Yourself!
This sounds so simple, but so many of us are simply not kind to ourselves at all!
Often the things we say about ourselves and to ourselves are so harsh, that we’d find it unacceptable if anyone else spoke to us that way.
We call ourselves all sorts of derogatory names. We talk ourselves out of what we want, before we’ve even tried. We sabotage our own health and happiness with our unhealthy habits.
And we expect others to love and take care of us, but we don’t realise that it all starts with taking care of ourselves. We’re not giving ourselves the Love and Care we deserve!
And because we’re not getting the care that we think we need from them, we become resentful and miserable.
Years ago when I was co-owner of a strategic brand design agency, I was on the way back from a meeting, and I stopped to buy lunch to take back to our team.
I phoned the office to take orders and arrived back with pizzas for everyone. Except myself. I didn’t realise — until my partner asked me what I’d ordered. And only then did it occur to me that I hadn’t!
This memory has stuck in my mind because I made a mental note at the time to always include myself!
I’ve always loved to treat and spoil and take care of my friends and loved ones. But loving myself did not come naturally to me. Like most women — I never thought I was good enough.
Now of course I realise I’m plenty good enough!
But I spent most of my life hating my curly hair; I was too short, too clever (yes, for many years I wished I could be more beautiful and less intelligent — mistakenly believing that was the way to a happy life!) — not realising all the time that I was perfectly Me!
All my life I’ve loved to treat and spoil my friends and loved ones. I’d buy all sorts of lovely things for others, but would never consider doing the same for myself. I remember thinking that I bought such lovely presents for other people, and I should get myself some nice things too — but I never did. When it came to shopping for me I would always go into practical mode. “Do I need this? Is it necessary?” And mostly I’d decide that I didn’t. A classic trait of feeling ‘undeserving’.
And then my circumstances changed. And I was no longer in a financial position to treat and take care of others. I was in survival mode. I had no choice but to focus on taking care of me.
And what I learned was profound and life-changing — it is simply not possible to take care of others, unless you take care of yourself first! Because if you’re not taking care of yourself — you are left with nothing to give! And that’s exactly what had happened.
So I started rebuilding my life with a lot more self-love. I started becoming more selfish, in a Good Way. I started taking better care of myself and my health. I put myself at the centre of my life and I learned to give myself the love and encouragement I’d always needed from others.
And this year, aged 49 I bought myself a present for the first time ever — a beautiful Venetian Murano glass heart — just because I loved it!
Actually, I walked past it in the shop window and thought it was beautiful. I thought it was something I’d love to receive as a present. And then later when I was at home, I decided to go and buy it as a present to myself! And I wear it proudly to remind myself that I am here for Me!
Being kind to myself and giving myself the love and attention and encouragement that I need has changed my life in such a positive way, you would not believe!
When I realised that I was deserving of all the Good Stuff in life and I started to give it to myself, instead of always only giving it to others — I noticed that more Good Stuff was coming back to me!
Many of us lavish our Love and Attention on our partners and families, on our pets, our businesses and even our plants!
But we all need to give ourselves that Love, Care and Kindness we’re lavishing on others.
Because when love ourselves, just as we are — we start being the people we are meant to be. We don’t expect others to make us happy, we stop stressing about our finances, our looks, or trying to be successful.
When we are kind and loving with ourselves, Life mirrors that back to us and the Good Stuff happens naturally. We create and enjoy more of the Good Stuff — plus there’s even more to share! What’s not to love?!