Aisha Tyler: On her Life, Career, and Marriage
Comedy Book Report: Aisha Tyler
Have you ever humiliated yourself in front of peers, colleagues, or maybe a crush? Have you ever said something then immediately regret saying it? Or have you even blown an interview and made a fool of yourself during a presentation? More than likely you can relate to at least one of these. Everyone at some point or another has had an encounter with humiliation. As Aisha Tyler says humiliation is a self-inflicted wound. In her books she talks about all of her experiences and unfortunate fails. Through it all she demonstrates through every failure there was a lesson learned and a fear overcome. She states that “Self-Inflicted Wounds isn’t just about surviving failure. It’s about embracing failure — pursuing it, even — on the winding path to success. And after you’ve failed a time or three, hopefully you’ll have learned something or at the very least, have a really killer story. Because failure is common and in our human nature, but failing epically is hilarious.
Aisha Tyler is an actress, comedian, and TV start host who has starred in recurring roles on Ghost whisperer, Archer, and The Talk on CBS. However, she is most known for her roles on Friends and CSI. She graduated from Dartmouth College with a degree in Political Science and a minor in Environmental Policy. As successful and thriving as she is, she is living proof that we are not our experiences and can just use them to make us stronger.
Now lets start from the beginning. Aisha Tyler was born on September 18, 1970 in San Francisco, California but was raised in Oakland. Her parents are Robin Gregory and James Tyler. Both a teacher and a photographer. Even though her parents were poor they still managed to send her to a private school. In mentioning of her childhood at the beginning of the book she describes herself as always sticking out against her peers. She was extraordinarily tall for her age in the third grade and was the only African-American child in her entire school. She explains she stuck out “like a big black thumb.”At the age of ten her parents divorced. Each parent could only afford to take care of one child, as money was tight for the both of them. So Aisha and her sister Feri, who is four years younger were split up. Her father, when making the decision of which child to take custody of, decided to go with the child that was better able to better care for themselves. So Aisha was the one chosen to go and live with her father. Even though Aisha and her sisters childhood were spent apart, they are closer than ever in adulthood, and share an unbreakable bond.
In her book, Tyler shares many personal and humiliating stories which create a very intimate feel that connects her readers to her life story. One vivid story that she divulges of her high school career is one in dealing with her high school crush. One of her many fail and humiliation stories. She describes “getting drunk one day while with her crush and ends up vomiting in his car.”She was so embarrassed and called it a bad look. Turns out this guy was Sam Rockwell who is now a famous actor. Sam has starred in movies and shows such as Cowboys and Aliens, Law and Order, and Iron Man 2. As it is revealed in the book Sam Rockwell was one of Aisha’s motivation to begin her acting career. In the book she says, “There was this super hot guy in my class who, by the way, was Sam Rockwell and I followed him to an acting class,”.And that, was the start of how she fell in love with Sam and in love with the art of performing. After high school she went on to Dartmouth College and obtained a degree in Political Science with a minor in Environmental Policy.
While also at Dartmouth in Aisha had met Jeff Tietjens. They married right after college but divorced later on in 2015. Even after they divorced it was told that they still remain good friends. It was very surprising when many had found out that her seemingly strong marriage was ending. She reveals that she was also experiencing difficulty in conceiving. She was having fertility issues and tried every option there was. She ultimately decided on her fate and gave up on the idea of having kids all together. Even though the hardship of trying to start a family was difficult, she states about her marriage in that, “I married my husband because I loved him and I don’t feel like there’s anybody missing from our marriage.”
Her overall take was that her marriage was not unsuccessful due to the fact that it wasn't able to produce children. Her overall divorce was done kindly just how she refers to her parent’s divorce. no one was talked down or thrown under the bus. She says no matter what through all of it as a child and growing up she never heard either parent say something bad about the other. As we all know most relationships begin with the expectations of love and to last a lifetime. But if you’re as lucky as Tyler you at least get to experience a notable love for decades. In the book I really loved the message of what she portrays. She depicts that no matter what happens or what circumstances you are placed in you always need to find the push to move forward in the most positive light.
I definitely recommend her book and was glad to learn about her journey to becoming an influential comedian, talk show host, and actress. I love seeing people bounce back despite all the odds and overcoming what may have not seemed possible at first.